I did

  I'm officially divorced now. It's...odd. There's a lot that no one ever really tells you about getting divorced. Even when it's the right thing to do, there are still mixed feelings. I'd be lying if I said I don't feel any regret over this. Not over getting divorced, but that it turned out this way. Thanks to the great state of SC making me wait a yr before I could file, I had plenty of time to think about it. It was far from a rash decision & I feel it was the best one for me, for my mental & emotional well-being. Even right down to the court date though, the process is designed to make you question what you're doing. The judge questioning me was nerve-wracking; if I got the answer wrong, would I flunk out of class? T did not show up for it. I think that's the final break of any shred of respect I may have had for him. For him to just sit back & let me go through any of the difficult points of this just speaks a lot for what our relationship was.

  But, I've done it. I did & I'm stronger for it. A friend pointed out a couple wks ago that he's proud of me because I have fought for & earned everything I have in my life right now. My freedom, strength, courage, success, & happiness are all mine because I wanted them & I made it happen. He was right. I'll point out that I had great support though. And, I certainly learned who my real friends are. Many of the people I referred to as friends just a couple short yrs ago dropped me when things got rough. There are very few from the congregation I went to who will still say hello when they see me (i stopped going to meetings. i couldn't reconcile being told that i was wrong for not putting up with t's crap anymore & i can't be a part of a religion that will allow him to treat me the way he did, yet still be in good standing). I've actually had my faith & spirituality shaken right to it's very core. This has also cost me a lot financially. I've learned to cut losses & rely on my (sometimes rather strict) budgeting skills.

 What I've gained, though, trumps all of that. After everything, I consider myself ahead. I'll leave you with a picture that I saw the other day. It just made sense to me. I cut the rope, now the sky's the limit.