As far as surgeries go, that was a LOOONG one! But, she made it through just fine & is doing well. The tumor turned out to be bigger & deeper than the dr thought. It was golf-ball sized. He ended up have to take a saliva gland with it. She has a dip in that part of her face now, but he says that it usually fills itself back in. If not, he'll graft over it, but doesn't want to do that for at least a year to make sure that there aren't any satelite tumors in there.
She should get to go home from the hosp today. She's had quite a few visitors so far. We figure that she'll be sore for a week or so. She'll be staying upstairs with mom & dad for a couple days until she's feeling up to taking care of herself.
It's funny how family stuff like this can make you realize what a gem your DH is, but have to take a minute to give him props. He went & got her 2 games for her DS yesterday (and managed to pick ones she liked & could do). Then he came to the hosp to hang out with us. He chatted with her before they took her for surgery & was great dealing with her when she came back to the room. And he even did a store run with my dad to pick up a few things she requested. It may not sound like a whole lot, but as I've said, she's not always the easiest person to deal with. He doesn't shy away from her, or talk down to her & I totally love that about him. :)
Ok, if I'm going to get to work today (ugh!) I've got to get a few things done. Hope y'all have a great week end!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Stephology
Rules: YOU! Yes, you, reading this. You're tagged. Now that you know more about me than you ever wanted to know, play the game, it's fun! Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology"
FOODOLOGY:
*What is your salad dressing of choice? None. Except for a buffalo blue, which requires blue cheese.
*What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Ummm, mom's house?
*What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Probably Za.xby's. I hardly ever eat fast food.
*What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Thai!
*What are your pizza toppings of choice? Veggie, like spinach, broccoli, & tomato.
*How many televisions are in your house? 2
*What color cell phone do you have? pewter/lime green.
BIOLOGY:
*Are you right-handed or left-handed? right
*Have you ever had anything removed from your body? appendix, tonsils, wisdom teeth, & about 16 moles.
*What is the last heavy item you lifted? My legs.
*Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No, except anesthesia.
*Have you ever fainted? Yes, gotta love low blood sugar.
BULLCRAPOLOGY:
*If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? I don't think so...
*If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I don't want to. Except for the stint where I'd change my name to Strawberry Shortcake & not answer unless someone could figure it out. But 5 was a long time ago!
*How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? None. I don't like the way they feel.
*Last person you talked to? DH as he left for work.
FAVORITOLOGY:
*Season? Early summer (before it's too hot!)
*Holiday? I don't celebrate.
*Day of the week? Sunday, we both usually have it off.
*Month? May
*Color? Blue, green, cream.
*Drink? Water. Unless we're talking alcohol, then something fruity.
CURRENTOLOGY:
*Missing someone? Yes.
*What are you listening to? Kit.chenNi.ghtm.ares is on.
*What are you watching? myself typing, cats sleeping, the woman on tv is crying.
*Worrying about? Older sis' surgery tomorrow.
*What's the last movie you saw? Not sure about rentals, but last theater movies was Av.atar.
*Do You Smile often? Yes.
*If you could change your eye color what would it be? Umm, I like my eyes! I'd change a few other things about my body, but not my eyes.
*What's on your wish list for your birthday? A baby.
*Can you do a chin up? Haha, no. Never could, haven't tried in years.
*Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Excited.
*Have you been in a Car wreck? Yes.
*Have you caused a Car wreck? No.
*Do you have an accent? I don't think so. Maybe on some words.
*Last time you cried? Yesterday. (very briefly, stress tears, nothing major)
*Plans tonight? Going to bed early!
*Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes, if we're talking emotionally.
*Name 3 things you Bought yesterday? The only thing I bought yesterday was a Coke for little sis.
*Met someone who changed your life? Many! DH for one.
*For the better or worse?? Both. But DH is for the better.
*How did you bring in the New Year? Watched the ball drop on tv, texted mom, kissed DH, & went to bed.
*Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes, if I could take current knowledge with me.
*What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever's playing in my head.
*Have you held hands with someone Today? Yes
*Who was the last person you took a picture of? Mom (she was sewing & cat was "helping")
*Are most of the friends in your life new or old? It's a mix.
*Do you like pulpy orange juice? Yes.
*Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? Tues, if you count almond butter.
*What were you doing 12 AM last night? Helping mom sew a nightgown for sis' hosp stay. (it's sweet, Ba.rb.bie flannel)
*What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? That I wanted more sleep!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, other stuff- I don't recall if I told you, but older sis' surgery is tomorrow (to remove the tumor from her jaw). I managed to get the day off so I could be w/mom for the wait. I'll let you all know how she does.
I just finished working 9 days straight! I don't want to answer another phone! People should learn to be nice when they're calling you for help. It's funny, I had a foreign diplomat in D.C. who said "please" & "thank-you", yet the secretary of some dr in podunk nowhere was demanding & literally screamed at me when I asked if she knew where the community was located! Thus proving that a lot of people have an over-inflated sence of self-importance when manners really wouldn't kill them & would take less time!
The Met is being a little nicer to me. It should not EVER be taken on an empty stomach! I lmao at one of the 'warnings' on the info packet- "This medication can cause changes in the menstrual cycle (promote ovulation) and increase the risk of becoming pregnant. Consult your doctor or pharmacist about the use of reliable birth control while using this medication." Now there's a s/e I could deal with!
That's about it. I hope all y'all have a great day. I'm heading off to bed. And I'm giving the neighbors about 10 more minutes to shut off the bass before I call the cops on them. It's 10pm for crying out loud & I have no desire to feel their music!
FOODOLOGY:
*What is your salad dressing of choice? None. Except for a buffalo blue, which requires blue cheese.
*What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Ummm, mom's house?
*What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Probably Za.xby's. I hardly ever eat fast food.
*What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Thai!
*What are your pizza toppings of choice? Veggie, like spinach, broccoli, & tomato.
*How many televisions are in your house? 2
*What color cell phone do you have? pewter/lime green.
BIOLOGY:
*Are you right-handed or left-handed? right
*Have you ever had anything removed from your body? appendix, tonsils, wisdom teeth, & about 16 moles.
*What is the last heavy item you lifted? My legs.
*Have you ever been knocked unconscious? No, except anesthesia.
*Have you ever fainted? Yes, gotta love low blood sugar.
BULLCRAPOLOGY:
*If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? I don't think so...
*If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I don't want to. Except for the stint where I'd change my name to Strawberry Shortcake & not answer unless someone could figure it out. But 5 was a long time ago!
*How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? None. I don't like the way they feel.
*Last person you talked to? DH as he left for work.
FAVORITOLOGY:
*Season? Early summer (before it's too hot!)
*Holiday? I don't celebrate.
*Day of the week? Sunday, we both usually have it off.
*Month? May
*Color? Blue, green, cream.
*Drink? Water. Unless we're talking alcohol, then something fruity.
CURRENTOLOGY:
*Missing someone? Yes.
*What are you listening to? Kit.chenNi.ghtm.ares is on.
*What are you watching? myself typing, cats sleeping, the woman on tv is crying.
*Worrying about? Older sis' surgery tomorrow.
*What's the last movie you saw? Not sure about rentals, but last theater movies was Av.atar.
*Do You Smile often? Yes.
*If you could change your eye color what would it be? Umm, I like my eyes! I'd change a few other things about my body, but not my eyes.
*What's on your wish list for your birthday? A baby.
*Can you do a chin up? Haha, no. Never could, haven't tried in years.
*Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Excited.
*Have you been in a Car wreck? Yes.
*Have you caused a Car wreck? No.
*Do you have an accent? I don't think so. Maybe on some words.
*Last time you cried? Yesterday. (very briefly, stress tears, nothing major)
*Plans tonight? Going to bed early!
*Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yes, if we're talking emotionally.
*Name 3 things you Bought yesterday? The only thing I bought yesterday was a Coke for little sis.
*Met someone who changed your life? Many! DH for one.
*For the better or worse?? Both. But DH is for the better.
*How did you bring in the New Year? Watched the ball drop on tv, texted mom, kissed DH, & went to bed.
*Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes, if I could take current knowledge with me.
*What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever's playing in my head.
*Have you held hands with someone Today? Yes
*Who was the last person you took a picture of? Mom (she was sewing & cat was "helping")
*Are most of the friends in your life new or old? It's a mix.
*Do you like pulpy orange juice? Yes.
*Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? Tues, if you count almond butter.
*What were you doing 12 AM last night? Helping mom sew a nightgown for sis' hosp stay. (it's sweet, Ba.rb.bie flannel)
*What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? That I wanted more sleep!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, other stuff- I don't recall if I told you, but older sis' surgery is tomorrow (to remove the tumor from her jaw). I managed to get the day off so I could be w/mom for the wait. I'll let you all know how she does.
I just finished working 9 days straight! I don't want to answer another phone! People should learn to be nice when they're calling you for help. It's funny, I had a foreign diplomat in D.C. who said "please" & "thank-you", yet the secretary of some dr in podunk nowhere was demanding & literally screamed at me when I asked if she knew where the community was located! Thus proving that a lot of people have an over-inflated sence of self-importance when manners really wouldn't kill them & would take less time!
The Met is being a little nicer to me. It should not EVER be taken on an empty stomach! I lmao at one of the 'warnings' on the info packet- "This medication can cause changes in the menstrual cycle (promote ovulation) and increase the risk of becoming pregnant. Consult your doctor or pharmacist about the use of reliable birth control while using this medication." Now there's a s/e I could deal with!
That's about it. I hope all y'all have a great day. I'm heading off to bed. And I'm giving the neighbors about 10 more minutes to shut off the bass before I call the cops on them. It's 10pm for crying out loud & I have no desire to feel their music!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
My 10 happy's
Thank you to the ladies who nominated me for this! It came at a great time. I was soooo close to boiling point on Friday, it was bad.
First, af showed up last Wed & I had full-blown cramps this month. It was not fun. Then, I'd run out of my a/d's & decided not to call in the existing refil & to just fill hte new one that Dr. B gave me (extended release vrs reg). By Fri, I still hadn't run to the dang pharmacy & was not doing too well. To help that out, the cats decided that as long as I was only sleeping, the hours of 6am-7:30am would be a good time to chat.
I was at work, tired, crampy, cranky, decaffienated (i bring coffee to work, but it takes a few calls to kick in). Little sis was there & saying that she got off work an hr before me. So I asked her if she could do me a mega favor & drop off my scripts to the pharm so they'd be ready by the time I got off work. She agreed & asked what the RE had put me on. I explained hte Met & how it would help & she says "I'm glad you're getting this fixed now, because once I marry M, I'll want to have kids & I know you'll be upset if I'm the first one. " I could've throttled her!!!! She is NOT yet divorced from J & though M is a great guy, I think she's making a huge rebound mistake. Also, c'mon! She knows what I've been though & what this has been like for me & that was just SO out of line!
Anyway, went to the circus with mom, dad, & older sis Friday night (dh had been up for over 24 hrs & was plain worn out). It was pretty good, we had 2nd row seats! The things that some of those women can do with thier bodies is just not natural! My fav is the tigers of course. There was one that was just about turned around on his stool, just looking at all the people. LOL!
I can happily say that I think the Met is a good thing. I took the first one Fri night & woke up feeling "even" on Sat. (same today). Does anyone know what I mean? Like, I felt hungry, but not shakey, dizzy, or sick. TMI, but I'm also happy to say that I've only had a little tummy trouble. Not too bad, but I don't really trust gas right now. (sorry!) Sat was the worst for that, not as bad today.
Mom told me today htat there's a pregnancy in the cong. She's only 6wks along & already knows htat it's twins & is announcing & showing off u/s pics. Sigh, I'm trying to boost myself to be ok. I feel hopeful that Dr. N can help me get pg by the end of the yr. It doesn't matter how many women have how many other babies. It does not affect my fertility & will not make my child any less exciting. (i have to repeat that from time to time)
Ok, venting done. Thanks for listening. Here are my happys-
Rules are: list 10 things that make you happy and then pass it along to 10 other blogs ~ easy enough!
1. My DH. We seem to get closer as the years pass.
2. My parents & how supportive they are.
3. The great ladies I've met through this journey.
4. Waking up with kitties on me.
5. The first sip of coffee in the morning.
6. An up-tempo song.
7. The thought of being called "mommy".
8. Sunny days (i swear i'm solar-powered)
9. Standing at the ocean.
10. Knowing that, even though we're pretty small in the grand scheme of the universe, God cares about each one of us. (that thought actually strikes me with a mixture of awe & humility)
I'm passing this on to everyone who hasn't done it yet! Sorry if that's a cop out, but if you haven't yet, do it! It's pretty fun! :)
First, af showed up last Wed & I had full-blown cramps this month. It was not fun. Then, I'd run out of my a/d's & decided not to call in the existing refil & to just fill hte new one that Dr. B gave me (extended release vrs reg). By Fri, I still hadn't run to the dang pharmacy & was not doing too well. To help that out, the cats decided that as long as I was only sleeping, the hours of 6am-7:30am would be a good time to chat.
I was at work, tired, crampy, cranky, decaffienated (i bring coffee to work, but it takes a few calls to kick in). Little sis was there & saying that she got off work an hr before me. So I asked her if she could do me a mega favor & drop off my scripts to the pharm so they'd be ready by the time I got off work. She agreed & asked what the RE had put me on. I explained hte Met & how it would help & she says "I'm glad you're getting this fixed now, because once I marry M, I'll want to have kids & I know you'll be upset if I'm the first one. " I could've throttled her!!!! She is NOT yet divorced from J & though M is a great guy, I think she's making a huge rebound mistake. Also, c'mon! She knows what I've been though & what this has been like for me & that was just SO out of line!
Anyway, went to the circus with mom, dad, & older sis Friday night (dh had been up for over 24 hrs & was plain worn out). It was pretty good, we had 2nd row seats! The things that some of those women can do with thier bodies is just not natural! My fav is the tigers of course. There was one that was just about turned around on his stool, just looking at all the people. LOL!
I can happily say that I think the Met is a good thing. I took the first one Fri night & woke up feeling "even" on Sat. (same today). Does anyone know what I mean? Like, I felt hungry, but not shakey, dizzy, or sick. TMI, but I'm also happy to say that I've only had a little tummy trouble. Not too bad, but I don't really trust gas right now. (sorry!) Sat was the worst for that, not as bad today.
Mom told me today htat there's a pregnancy in the cong. She's only 6wks along & already knows htat it's twins & is announcing & showing off u/s pics. Sigh, I'm trying to boost myself to be ok. I feel hopeful that Dr. N can help me get pg by the end of the yr. It doesn't matter how many women have how many other babies. It does not affect my fertility & will not make my child any less exciting. (i have to repeat that from time to time)
Ok, venting done. Thanks for listening. Here are my happys-
Rules are: list 10 things that make you happy and then pass it along to 10 other blogs ~ easy enough!
1. My DH. We seem to get closer as the years pass.
2. My parents & how supportive they are.
3. The great ladies I've met through this journey.
4. Waking up with kitties on me.
5. The first sip of coffee in the morning.
6. An up-tempo song.
7. The thought of being called "mommy".
8. Sunny days (i swear i'm solar-powered)
9. Standing at the ocean.
10. Knowing that, even though we're pretty small in the grand scheme of the universe, God cares about each one of us. (that thought actually strikes me with a mixture of awe & humility)
I'm passing this on to everyone who hasn't done it yet! Sorry if that's a cop out, but if you haven't yet, do it! It's pretty fun! :)
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
What he said....
He gave us a copy of "Sex for Dummies" & sent us on our way.
Just kidding! Sorry, could you imagine? It actually went really well. He says I definitely have PCOS. (yeah, i've been saying that for a couple years now, feels great to hear someone with letters behind their name say it) The good thing about him saying it is that he also gave me a script for Met. (750 XR) I'm suposed to do 1 pill/day for a week, then up it to 2 pills/day. He's perfectly fine with me doing a GF diet & wants me to continue to avoid simple carbs/sugars. He also said good about the exercise & to keep it up. Awesome sidebar- He did not get upset w/me about having been proactive & researching things online.
He does not think I have CAH (congenital adrenal hyperplasia). I'm happy about that, the research I did on it had me slightly worried. He agrees that there were elevated adrenal hormones, but they are w/i the ranges of PCOS & not high enough to be CAH.
He went over my m/c & asked what I could remember of details. He said it's unfortunately common for PCOS/IR women to m/c early on & that's why it's so important to get my insulin levels down. (mine came back at 17, which isn't terrible, but he likes them closer to 10) He does not think that that alone is an indicator of any inability to carry a pg.
Bottom line is that I'm to start the Met & stay on it for 2 months to let it get in my system. Then go back to retest my levels & discuss Clomid. In the meantime, we need to get DH a SA to rule out any spermal issues. He left doing a HSG up to me, but said it can't hurt. Opinions on that?
All in all, I feel super excited that there's something & that there's a treatment for it. I know, that makes me a dork. But I can honestly say that I haven't felt this hopeful in a looooooong time! To even think that my body could be able to function & create life in a few months makes me tear up.
Thank you all for your thoughts today! You ladies are the bestest! :)
Just kidding! Sorry, could you imagine? It actually went really well. He says I definitely have PCOS. (yeah, i've been saying that for a couple years now, feels great to hear someone with letters behind their name say it) The good thing about him saying it is that he also gave me a script for Met. (750 XR) I'm suposed to do 1 pill/day for a week, then up it to 2 pills/day. He's perfectly fine with me doing a GF diet & wants me to continue to avoid simple carbs/sugars. He also said good about the exercise & to keep it up. Awesome sidebar- He did not get upset w/me about having been proactive & researching things online.
He does not think I have CAH (congenital adrenal hyperplasia). I'm happy about that, the research I did on it had me slightly worried. He agrees that there were elevated adrenal hormones, but they are w/i the ranges of PCOS & not high enough to be CAH.
He went over my m/c & asked what I could remember of details. He said it's unfortunately common for PCOS/IR women to m/c early on & that's why it's so important to get my insulin levels down. (mine came back at 17, which isn't terrible, but he likes them closer to 10) He does not think that that alone is an indicator of any inability to carry a pg.
Bottom line is that I'm to start the Met & stay on it for 2 months to let it get in my system. Then go back to retest my levels & discuss Clomid. In the meantime, we need to get DH a SA to rule out any spermal issues. He left doing a HSG up to me, but said it can't hurt. Opinions on that?
All in all, I feel super excited that there's something & that there's a treatment for it. I know, that makes me a dork. But I can honestly say that I haven't felt this hopeful in a looooooong time! To even think that my body could be able to function & create life in a few months makes me tear up.
Thank you all for your thoughts today! You ladies are the bestest! :)
Monday, February 15, 2010
D/A (RE!!!) tomorrow!!!
Yikes! Why am I so nervous? It's like I think he's going to tell me that I'm an idiot & haven't been having sex right all these years or something!
I did do some research on CAH & I refuse to get worked up until I get a full prognosis & treatment plan from Dr N. From what I've found, I probably have a mild form of it. But having your adrenal system out of whack is apparently bad & worse case scenario is adrenal shock (which can lead to death). The good news is that it seems pretty treatable by making up the lack of corticosteroids through medication. I can say that I'm not too excited about the idea of taking steroids, but if it could get me pg.... I tear up at the thought of finally having that dream realized.
I printed out the pre-patient form (all 22 pages!) so DH & I can fill them out tonight. I also printed several months' worth of FF charts. I'm working on a list of questions I need to ask. Here's what I have so far. PLEASE tell me if I'm missing anything! --
How bad is my PCOS & CAH?
What is the treatment plan? / Are there any natural treatment plans?
What s/e can I expect from treatment?
Is there risk of my children having a more severe form of CAH?/ Do we need to get DH genetically tested to see if he's a carrier?
What are my chances of pg?
Will any of this cause complications during the pg?
Can we get DH a S/A?
Can they work with billing the ins for anything other than IF on as much of this as possible? (i know that one sounds bad, but we're not made out of money!)
~
Ok ladies, let me know if there should be anything else I ask! Does anyone have that website where you can interpret lab results? Or should I just leave it alone for another 18 hrs? I did check out the website though & this guy seems pretty much like a genious. I'm confident that if a sticky pg can be achieved, this guy can get me there!
I did do some research on CAH & I refuse to get worked up until I get a full prognosis & treatment plan from Dr N. From what I've found, I probably have a mild form of it. But having your adrenal system out of whack is apparently bad & worse case scenario is adrenal shock (which can lead to death). The good news is that it seems pretty treatable by making up the lack of corticosteroids through medication. I can say that I'm not too excited about the idea of taking steroids, but if it could get me pg.... I tear up at the thought of finally having that dream realized.
I printed out the pre-patient form (all 22 pages!) so DH & I can fill them out tonight. I also printed several months' worth of FF charts. I'm working on a list of questions I need to ask. Here's what I have so far. PLEASE tell me if I'm missing anything! --
How bad is my PCOS & CAH?
What is the treatment plan? / Are there any natural treatment plans?
What s/e can I expect from treatment?
Is there risk of my children having a more severe form of CAH?/ Do we need to get DH genetically tested to see if he's a carrier?
What are my chances of pg?
Will any of this cause complications during the pg?
Can we get DH a S/A?
Can they work with billing the ins for anything other than IF on as much of this as possible? (i know that one sounds bad, but we're not made out of money!)
~
Ok ladies, let me know if there should be anything else I ask! Does anyone have that website where you can interpret lab results? Or should I just leave it alone for another 18 hrs? I did check out the website though & this guy seems pretty much like a genious. I'm confident that if a sticky pg can be achieved, this guy can get me there!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Quick update...
The parts that were elevated were my testosterone & my DHEA. My thyroid is fine. My glucose was on the higher side of the range, but still in limits. Blood sugar is a PITA! I don't get how I always test borderline, yet feel this way daily.
Final diagnosis- PCOS & "congenital adrenal hyperplasia". He gave me a referral to Dr. N at PREG. Woohoo! I called as soon as I got home, my appt is THIS TUESDAY, 2pm. Even bigger WOOHOO!!! Dr B's parting words to me were "they'll help you get that under control, your periods will go back to normal, you'll get pg, & they'll send you back to me. I hope to see you within about 6 months." He's an awesome guy, I will totally see him for pre-natal (provided his optimism comes true for me).
Well, though I promised not to go nuts on Go.og.le, I will look that all up later. I can also post full numbers of anything, if anyone is interested. But, for now, I need a nap. I stayed up waaay too late last night & I have to work later. I hope all y'all have a great day! :)
Final diagnosis- PCOS & "congenital adrenal hyperplasia". He gave me a referral to Dr. N at PREG. Woohoo! I called as soon as I got home, my appt is THIS TUESDAY, 2pm. Even bigger WOOHOO!!! Dr B's parting words to me were "they'll help you get that under control, your periods will go back to normal, you'll get pg, & they'll send you back to me. I hope to see you within about 6 months." He's an awesome guy, I will totally see him for pre-natal (provided his optimism comes true for me).
Well, though I promised not to go nuts on Go.og.le, I will look that all up later. I can also post full numbers of anything, if anyone is interested. But, for now, I need a nap. I stayed up waaay too late last night & I have to work later. I hope all y'all have a great day! :)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Waiting is agony!
Seriously, hats off to any in the 2ww right now! I'm only waiting to find out what's wrong & I'm going nuts! In the catagory of "all things pathetic"- I actually spent over an HOUR yesterday researching PCOS & hypothyroidism (my guess is that if it's thyroid, it's underactive, not overactive.). I checked symptoms, treatments, complications, worst case scenarios, well, you get the idea. I think I am going to go nuts between now & Fri. Tomorrow night will be the worst.
The next part is triggy, but something that's been on my mind lately. As many of you know, I've had 2 m/c. Barely a day goes by that I don't think of how old my kids would be, what they'd look like, what stages of growing up they'd be at. Time has faded the hurt, but they're etched in mind & on my heart. So what I've been thinking about is that I've never gotten anything to symbolize them. Part of the reason is that I'm not sure I want to share my pain with anyone who asks. As much as I like the babyfeet in the teardrop design, it's a little obvious. The other problem is what to sybolize them with. I've thought of a heart, the babyfeet, a teardrop. Latley though, I've been thinking of a firefly. It's what I've always mentally refer to them as. They only flickered for a short time, but they lit up my world.
My issue is that I'm kinda picky when I get a specific idea in my head. And it's dang near impossible to find a firefly pendent! There are a million butterflies & dragonflies, but this was about the only firefly that even looked like a firefly. Most things that are labeled as fireflies are, in fact, dragonflies. Sigh. So, from looking at that one & a sheet of stickers I have-
I noticed that there's not a huge differnce in the wings, just in the bodies. So, what if I bought plain dragonfly pendants like this or this & added a bead to the bottom? Then there's where to put it. I don't really want to wear it at this time, but I want it near me. So, I was thinking of this bear.-
It was my grammas & I got it when she died. Stupid as it may seem, it's given me a lot of comfort over the past decade. He currently wears my IF bracelet, a keychain from the breast cancer society, a red dress pin for heart health. (on the hat) I think he would happily keep my fireflies close to his heart. Anyway, let me know what you think.
Now, so I'm not a total bummer, check out this story. It made me tear up, but in a good way. It's really sweet & I hope you like it. I need to take my sorry butt to bed, I am not gonna want to get up in the morning!
Monday, February 8, 2010
"definitely something"
My nurse called back this morning & that's what she said. She didn't know what all the things were, so didn't really go into detail. Plus the appt is this Fri & that's soon enough in dr speak. I asked if it was the thyroid or pcos part & she indicated mostly pcos. Though there was one of the T's that was elevated. She said my testosterone is elevated. I said "I know, I can out-beard & out-moustache most high school guys" Other than that, she didn't really have much info. So, we wait.
I have to admit that I'm excited because, even setting IF aside, I know I don't feel right. If there can be an improvement in 'quality of life', it would be worth it.
Ok, enough self-centeredness. (is that a word?) Everyone, if you haven't already, please go give Allison some extra hugs, thoughts, prayers, & love.
I have to admit that I'm excited because, even setting IF aside, I know I don't feel right. If there can be an improvement in 'quality of life', it would be worth it.
Ok, enough self-centeredness. (is that a word?) Everyone, if you haven't already, please go give Allison some extra hugs, thoughts, prayers, & love.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Lab results are in....
Sorry for the suspense, but I still don't know anything! Why??? Because whatever it is, my dr won't tell me over the phone. :^/
So, I have an appt for next Friday at 9:15am. I hope this means they found something & he wants to discuss which meds to put me on. I'm going to be seriously pissed if he has me come all the way in for an office visit just to tell me it's nothing. I really don't think he's that type though. He's rather busy & has been fairly straight up & matter of fact any time I've seen him.
If I hear anything before then, I'll let y'all know!
So, I have an appt for next Friday at 9:15am. I hope this means they found something & he wants to discuss which meds to put me on. I'm going to be seriously pissed if he has me come all the way in for an office visit just to tell me it's nothing. I really don't think he's that type though. He's rather busy & has been fairly straight up & matter of fact any time I've seen him.
If I hear anything before then, I'll let y'all know!
Monday, February 1, 2010
My theory of men & cleaning.
I figured this out about a week ago & it really makes a lot more sense to me now.
Men simply do not care if the area around them is messy. The only time a man will clean something without being told is if they are out of something they need (clean socks, underwear, dishes) or if there is risk of angering the main woman in their life.
Think about it, as children/teens they want to not be in trouble with their mothers. As bachelors on their own, they revert to the mess unless there is a girlfriend who may come over & be disgusted. Once married, they will clean to avoid angering their wife & risking access to sex. (or will proactively clean to up the chances of sex)
I've mentioned this theory to a couple of male friends & they've said that I pretty much have it right. Except my husband who said "why? what was i supposed to do that i didn't?" Thus further proving my point.
Sorry, I'm bored. It's my day off, which (as usual) means that I get to clean the apt! I'm hoping for a call back from the nurse today about the b/w. I talked to her once & she said she was checking with the lab, but she hasn't called back yet. Could everyone please will her to hurry up & call me? Oh & I've barely gotten a moment of peace from the cats. They can't figure out why I left them w/Travis all w/e!
I'm waiting for Misty to actually update y'all, but she's gonna come stay with us next week & get a 2nd opinion!!! :)
Men simply do not care if the area around them is messy. The only time a man will clean something without being told is if they are out of something they need (clean socks, underwear, dishes) or if there is risk of angering the main woman in their life.
Think about it, as children/teens they want to not be in trouble with their mothers. As bachelors on their own, they revert to the mess unless there is a girlfriend who may come over & be disgusted. Once married, they will clean to avoid angering their wife & risking access to sex. (or will proactively clean to up the chances of sex)
I've mentioned this theory to a couple of male friends & they've said that I pretty much have it right. Except my husband who said "why? what was i supposed to do that i didn't?" Thus further proving my point.
Sorry, I'm bored. It's my day off, which (as usual) means that I get to clean the apt! I'm hoping for a call back from the nurse today about the b/w. I talked to her once & she said she was checking with the lab, but she hasn't called back yet. Could everyone please will her to hurry up & call me? Oh & I've barely gotten a moment of peace from the cats. They can't figure out why I left them w/Travis all w/e!
I'm waiting for Misty to actually update y'all, but she's gonna come stay with us next week & get a 2nd opinion!!! :)
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