I have heartburn & cramps so bad I can barely sit straight! Oh & this seemed weird to me- TMI WARNING- the blood is too red. Not dark light usual, but kinda light colored. What ever THAT'S all about. Frickin AF! Ok, done whining.
I called the nurse today to beg them to call in a refill on my antidepressants (almost out & no more refills). She agreed, after I set up an appt for a pap. It'll be the 16th. Kinda wasn't thinking. I'll be CD17 & my cervix will be higher, ow! For the first time in yrs, it'll just be a pap. I'm not even going to discuss IF, cysts, next step, nothing. Just tell me I don't have cancer or hpv. I ended up "stuck" w/the same dr as last yr. I wasn't so fond of him. I totally LOVE his nurse though! There's a dr in their practice who speacializes in PCOS, I'm considering breaking my policy on female drs.
This next part is a triggery pity party-
I was thinking about a comment that Misty made. How many of the "core" group are still not pg? I'm trying to remember who was there when the board first started. Here's who I came up with, we'll call them "ladies who are past overdue for the great news of a bfp." (this list is not meant to upset any of the newer members! a bfp from anyone on that board is a reason to rejoice)- Dot, Sherry, Misty, Jayme, Julie, Margriet, Priscilla, Christina (mrsbraks), me. Why are we still waiting? Why haven't we gotten to move off the 12 month board yet? I found this post http://boards.webmd.com/webx?THDX@@.898f16b0!thdchild=.898f16b0 it's the first list that Misty did. Really big trigs to scroll through it & think of where eveyone is now. Again, I'm not saying that I'm not totally excited for those who got off, but I'm currently blessed w/AF & throwing us all a pity party.
Jayme also hit on something that I was thinking about the other day. If we don't find a way to beat IF, it's with us our whole lives. It bothers me now to be around my friends w/babies or toddlers. In 10 yrs, it'll be friends w/teenagers. Then friends w/graduates, then friends watching their children get married, then friends getting to be grandparents. It really doesn't end. That totally sucks. We deserve better than this.
(((((((HUGE HUGS)))))))) x 1 million to all of you strong beautiful ladies. It's late now & I'm going to bed!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday!
I'm not really that excited about Tuesday. I couldn't think of a title though. A few random things.-
- AF finally showed up today. Wasn't that nice of her? ~eyeroll~ Anyway, at least she's here now & I'm not wondering WTH. True to form, she brought my 2 period pounds w/her. >:^ {
- We (little sis & i) made Moraccan chicken pockets last night. They were sooo good! Filo dough is a total pain to work with though. It's so thin & rips if you look at it wrong. We had salad w/choice of quinoa (that's pronounced KEEN- WA), or bulgar. Quinoa is really good, very light & kinda 'pops' in your mouth. Lends itself to savory dishes, can be enjoyed with as little as butter, salt, & pepper. I like bulgar too, but it lends itself better to sweet dishes (would be a great replacement for oatmeal).
While we're talking about food. My advice to anyone- diversify! You never know what you might like unless you try it. This is one of the reasons I don't go to "American" restaurants. "Salad" is usally iceberg lettuce. Yuck! There are so many leafy greens out there that not only taste better, but are better for you! Same goes for sides & spices, there's a great big world if you get past potatos & Lawry's! For some real flavor, try Thai, Greek, Moroccan, Indian, there can be as many any 30 spices for a single dish. Yummy!
- On a downer note, my g-ma fell off the wagon. She was on it for 6 months & feeling better, doing more, & even easier to be around. Then she came off with a crash. SIGH. It's a mix between sad & just pathethic. I know Sherry will get this line- "She racka dishiprine!" I have an uncle who has put his life on hold, never gotten married, bought a house w/g-ma to take care of her. My mom spends time w/her, takes her to a lot of drs appts, frequently has lunch outings w/her, & tries to keep her spiritually encouraged. My aunt (mom's sis) takes care of taking her cloathes shopping, hair appts, lunch outings, spends time at her house. Then there's a brother who does nothing. Not one D thing for her. Can't even pick up a phone & give her a call. Makes decent money, but never helps out. What to know the stupid irony of it? HE'S the one she's sooo proud of! His stupid, promiscous kids are the pics all over her living rm. (seriously, his daughter has been married 2-3 times, has 3 kids all diff fathers & may not be the children of the men she was married to) It's so pathetic! I've long stopped even trying for her attention, approval, whatever. But it still hurts my mom so much & that makes me so mad! I decided yrs ago that she will not know my children. Children deserve unconditional love from parents & grands, not the kind of favoritism, night & day personality shit that she pulls. Alcoholics SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry! Didn't realize how long that had gotten! I'm not deleting it though because it felt good to get some of it out. Thanks if you got through reading it!
- I hope all y'all have a great day! One day closer to the weekend!
- AF finally showed up today. Wasn't that nice of her? ~eyeroll~ Anyway, at least she's here now & I'm not wondering WTH. True to form, she brought my 2 period pounds w/her. >:^ {
- We (little sis & i) made Moraccan chicken pockets last night. They were sooo good! Filo dough is a total pain to work with though. It's so thin & rips if you look at it wrong. We had salad w/choice of quinoa (that's pronounced KEEN- WA), or bulgar. Quinoa is really good, very light & kinda 'pops' in your mouth. Lends itself to savory dishes, can be enjoyed with as little as butter, salt, & pepper. I like bulgar too, but it lends itself better to sweet dishes (would be a great replacement for oatmeal).
While we're talking about food. My advice to anyone- diversify! You never know what you might like unless you try it. This is one of the reasons I don't go to "American" restaurants. "Salad" is usally iceberg lettuce. Yuck! There are so many leafy greens out there that not only taste better, but are better for you! Same goes for sides & spices, there's a great big world if you get past potatos & Lawry's! For some real flavor, try Thai, Greek, Moroccan, Indian, there can be as many any 30 spices for a single dish. Yummy!
- On a downer note, my g-ma fell off the wagon. She was on it for 6 months & feeling better, doing more, & even easier to be around. Then she came off with a crash. SIGH. It's a mix between sad & just pathethic. I know Sherry will get this line- "She racka dishiprine!" I have an uncle who has put his life on hold, never gotten married, bought a house w/g-ma to take care of her. My mom spends time w/her, takes her to a lot of drs appts, frequently has lunch outings w/her, & tries to keep her spiritually encouraged. My aunt (mom's sis) takes care of taking her cloathes shopping, hair appts, lunch outings, spends time at her house. Then there's a brother who does nothing. Not one D thing for her. Can't even pick up a phone & give her a call. Makes decent money, but never helps out. What to know the stupid irony of it? HE'S the one she's sooo proud of! His stupid, promiscous kids are the pics all over her living rm. (seriously, his daughter has been married 2-3 times, has 3 kids all diff fathers & may not be the children of the men she was married to) It's so pathetic! I've long stopped even trying for her attention, approval, whatever. But it still hurts my mom so much & that makes me so mad! I decided yrs ago that she will not know my children. Children deserve unconditional love from parents & grands, not the kind of favoritism, night & day personality shit that she pulls. Alcoholics SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry! Didn't realize how long that had gotten! I'm not deleting it though because it felt good to get some of it out. Thanks if you got through reading it!
- I hope all y'all have a great day! One day closer to the weekend!
Monday, March 30, 2009
100 Truths
Good morning! I saw this on Jenn's blog & thought it was really cool, so decided to do it. If you want to, copy & paste it with your own answers! :^)
1. Last beverage→ V8
2. Last phone call→ Mom, last night.
3. Last text message→ Mom, this morning. (last one I sent was to little sis)
4. Last song you listened to→ Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park
5. Last time you cried→ Yesterday
SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? → No
7. Been cheated on? - Not that I know of. (i think ex-fiancee started a non-physical relationship w/someone while we were still together)
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? - No
9. Lost someone special?→ Yes, more than once.
10. Been depressed?- Yes, it's an ongoing battle.
11. Been drunk and threw up? → No.
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Blue
13. Green
14. Purple
15. Black
HAVE YOU:
16. Made new friends → Yes
17. Fallen out of love → No
18. Laughed until you cried → Yes
19. Met someone who changed you → Yes
20. Found out who your true friends were → Yes
21. Found out someone was talking about you →Yes. And not always in hushed & reverant tones! ;^)
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ No
23. How many kids do you want to have→ Haha! I'll start w/one, would like more though.
24. Do you have any pets → Yes, 4 cats
25. Do you want to change your name - No. When I was little, I used to change it to Str.awb.erry Sho.rtc.ake & not answer until I was called that.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Nothing
27. What time did you wake up today → 6:30
28. What were you doing at midnight last night --> sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for- To be out of the apt!
30. Last time you saw your father→ This morning.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ To not be infertile.
32. What are you listening to right now → The fan in the bathrm, the other guy on the phone. (i need to turn on some music!)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yes, worked w/a couple of them!
34. What's getting on your nerves right now?-- I'm on CD43, not pg, & AF STILL hasn't shown!
35. What's your name?-- Stephanie
36. Nicknames→ Steph, honey, sweetie. Older sister invented "SnerkumDerfum" just to annoy me when we were younger. For the same reason, DH occationally calls me "Chutney Butt" (from Apu on Simpsons)
37. Relationship Status → Married
38. Zodiac sign → I dunno. I don't do horoscopes.
39. Male or female or transgendered → Female
40. Elementary--West Salem Elementary
41. Middle School → I don't think I ever went to an actual "middle shool"
42. High school -- Home schooled- ICS (now Penn Foster)
43. Hair color → Light brown w/blonde highlights
44. Long or short → Long, with layers.
45. Do you have a crush on someone? → DH!
46. Piercings → 2 in each ear, but I never liked the placement of the second hole, so I leave them empty. The second hole in my left ear has completely closed.
47. Tattoos → No. And I won't.
48. Righty or lefty → Righty
FIRSTS :
49. First surgery → I had my appendix out the summer after 1st grade.
50. First piercing → 6-7? Not sure
51. First best friends: Janine & Jimmy.
52. First sport you joined → Hahahahahaha! That's a good one!
53. First pet → Peanut (cat), but I was only 2. I was mean to him though, so my parents gave him away.
54. First vacation→ Ummm, IDK
55. First concert → I don't really do concerts. I don't think I went to one at all until we got married. Sawyer Brown, I guess. It was kinda lame.
56. First crush → Derrick Mandt (haven't seen him since i was 11, no clue what he's doing these days. BTW- not sure he knew i existed)
RIGHT NOW:
57. Eating → Nothing
58. Drinking → My coffee
59. I'm about to → Post this.
60. Listening to - Didn't we do this one?
61. Waiting for → Trip to MT!
YOUR FUTURE :
62. Want kids? More than anything!
63. Want to get married? → Been there, done that.
64. Careers in mind? → I would like to work in a med office. It might be fun to go on to being a surg tech or something. Maybe. I have a low gag reflex.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
65. Lips or eyes? → Eyes
66. Hugs or kisses? --> Hugs
67. Shorter or taller? → Taller
68. Older or Younger? → Older
69. Romantic or spontaneous-->I like both, but if I had to choose, I'd say spontaneous.
70. Nice stomach or nice arms? → Arms
71. Sensitive or loud? → Sensitive
72. Hook-up or relationship? → Relationship. I have NEVER been a "hookup" girl! (i have only ever had sex w/dh!)
HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger?-- No. There's a pic of "baby me" kissing some guy & I don't know who he is, but he was a friend of my parents. Lol!
74. Lost glasses/contacts? - Yes, what a hassle!
75. Sex on first date? → Never!
76. Broken someone's heart? → Maybe? Not on purpose.
77. Had your own heart broken? → Yes, "shattered" would be more accurate.
78. Been arrested? → No! I'm a good girl!
79. Turned someone down? → For what? A date/relationship? Yes
80. Cried when someone died? → More than once.
81. Liked a friend that is a male?--- Yes.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
82. Yourself? → I waiver on this.
83. Miracles? → Yes
84. Love at first sight → Not Really. "Love" comes from truly knowing someone.
85. Heaven → Yes
86. Santa Claus → No, never have!
87. Kiss on the first date? → Maybe.
88. Angels → Yes.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
89. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes
90. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → I'll assume this means romantically, so no. That's actually pretty cruel if you ask me!
91. Will you repost this? → I'll post it once, I think that pretty much covers it right?
92. Did you lie on any of these questions? →Now, what would the point in that be???
Hmm, Jenn mentioned that the numbering is off on this. I renumbered it & found that it's off by 8. Adding a new catagory
8 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME:
93. I didn't like ice cream until I was in my teens.
94. I still don't like Rocky Road.
95. My second toe is longer than my big toe on both feet.
96. I can write backwards. (print or cursive)
97. I did not have an engagement ring.
98. I did not have a cavity until I was 22.
99. I have had 16 moles removed. Thankfully, none of them were cancer.
100. My favorite comedians right now are Dimitri Martin & Jeff Dunham.
There, now it's a real 100! :^D
1. Last beverage→ V8
2. Last phone call→ Mom, last night.
3. Last text message→ Mom, this morning. (last one I sent was to little sis)
4. Last song you listened to→ Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park
5. Last time you cried→ Yesterday
SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? → No
7. Been cheated on? - Not that I know of. (i think ex-fiancee started a non-physical relationship w/someone while we were still together)
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? - No
9. Lost someone special?→ Yes, more than once.
10. Been depressed?- Yes, it's an ongoing battle.
11. Been drunk and threw up? → No.
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Blue
13. Green
14. Purple
15. Black
HAVE YOU:
16. Made new friends → Yes
17. Fallen out of love → No
18. Laughed until you cried → Yes
19. Met someone who changed you → Yes
20. Found out who your true friends were → Yes
21. Found out someone was talking about you →Yes. And not always in hushed & reverant tones! ;^)
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ No
23. How many kids do you want to have→ Haha! I'll start w/one, would like more though.
24. Do you have any pets → Yes, 4 cats
25. Do you want to change your name - No. When I was little, I used to change it to Str.awb.erry Sho.rtc.ake & not answer until I was called that.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Nothing
27. What time did you wake up today → 6:30
28. What were you doing at midnight last night --> sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for- To be out of the apt!
30. Last time you saw your father→ This morning.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ To not be infertile.
32. What are you listening to right now → The fan in the bathrm, the other guy on the phone. (i need to turn on some music!)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yes, worked w/a couple of them!
34. What's getting on your nerves right now?-- I'm on CD43, not pg, & AF STILL hasn't shown!
35. What's your name?-- Stephanie
36. Nicknames→ Steph, honey, sweetie. Older sister invented "SnerkumDerfum" just to annoy me when we were younger. For the same reason, DH occationally calls me "Chutney Butt" (from Apu on Simpsons)
37. Relationship Status → Married
38. Zodiac sign → I dunno. I don't do horoscopes.
39. Male or female or transgendered → Female
40. Elementary--West Salem Elementary
41. Middle School → I don't think I ever went to an actual "middle shool"
42. High school -- Home schooled- ICS (now Penn Foster)
43. Hair color → Light brown w/blonde highlights
44. Long or short → Long, with layers.
45. Do you have a crush on someone? → DH!
46. Piercings → 2 in each ear, but I never liked the placement of the second hole, so I leave them empty. The second hole in my left ear has completely closed.
47. Tattoos → No. And I won't.
48. Righty or lefty → Righty
FIRSTS :
49. First surgery → I had my appendix out the summer after 1st grade.
50. First piercing → 6-7? Not sure
51. First best friends: Janine & Jimmy.
52. First sport you joined → Hahahahahaha! That's a good one!
53. First pet → Peanut (cat), but I was only 2. I was mean to him though, so my parents gave him away.
54. First vacation→ Ummm, IDK
55. First concert → I don't really do concerts. I don't think I went to one at all until we got married. Sawyer Brown, I guess. It was kinda lame.
56. First crush → Derrick Mandt (haven't seen him since i was 11, no clue what he's doing these days. BTW- not sure he knew i existed)
RIGHT NOW:
57. Eating → Nothing
58. Drinking → My coffee
59. I'm about to → Post this.
60. Listening to - Didn't we do this one?
61. Waiting for → Trip to MT!
YOUR FUTURE :
62. Want kids? More than anything!
63. Want to get married? → Been there, done that.
64. Careers in mind? → I would like to work in a med office. It might be fun to go on to being a surg tech or something. Maybe. I have a low gag reflex.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
65. Lips or eyes? → Eyes
66. Hugs or kisses? --> Hugs
67. Shorter or taller? → Taller
68. Older or Younger? → Older
69. Romantic or spontaneous-->I like both, but if I had to choose, I'd say spontaneous.
70. Nice stomach or nice arms? → Arms
71. Sensitive or loud? → Sensitive
72. Hook-up or relationship? → Relationship. I have NEVER been a "hookup" girl! (i have only ever had sex w/dh!)
HAVE YOU EVER :
73. Kissed a stranger?-- No. There's a pic of "baby me" kissing some guy & I don't know who he is, but he was a friend of my parents. Lol!
74. Lost glasses/contacts? - Yes, what a hassle!
75. Sex on first date? → Never!
76. Broken someone's heart? → Maybe? Not on purpose.
77. Had your own heart broken? → Yes, "shattered" would be more accurate.
78. Been arrested? → No! I'm a good girl!
79. Turned someone down? → For what? A date/relationship? Yes
80. Cried when someone died? → More than once.
81. Liked a friend that is a male?--- Yes.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
82. Yourself? → I waiver on this.
83. Miracles? → Yes
84. Love at first sight → Not Really. "Love" comes from truly knowing someone.
85. Heaven → Yes
86. Santa Claus → No, never have!
87. Kiss on the first date? → Maybe.
88. Angels → Yes.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
89. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes
90. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → I'll assume this means romantically, so no. That's actually pretty cruel if you ask me!
91. Will you repost this? → I'll post it once, I think that pretty much covers it right?
92. Did you lie on any of these questions? →Now, what would the point in that be???
Hmm, Jenn mentioned that the numbering is off on this. I renumbered it & found that it's off by 8. Adding a new catagory
8 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME:
93. I didn't like ice cream until I was in my teens.
94. I still don't like Rocky Road.
95. My second toe is longer than my big toe on both feet.
96. I can write backwards. (print or cursive)
97. I did not have an engagement ring.
98. I did not have a cavity until I was 22.
99. I have had 16 moles removed. Thankfully, none of them were cancer.
100. My favorite comedians right now are Dimitri Martin & Jeff Dunham.
There, now it's a real 100! :^D
Sunday, March 29, 2009
"I told you so"
This was, unfortunately, what I said to my DH this morning. I am not pg. Why the hell would I be? For me, being a week past my "usual" C length & having some syptoms doesn't mean squat. Dh wasn't home when I took the test. He had to work early this morning. I told him over the phone & held it together pretty well until he got home, then I lost it.
Misty, you were right, Sunday is a bad day to test. I ended up having him drop me off at mom & dad's on his way to the meeting. I came over in workout cloaths & did 45 mins on their treadmill. that's 1.75 miles, if anyone cares. I tried to9 deny it, but my hopes were up. "What if this actually was it?" So, now that she broke my heart again, AF is adding injury to insult & showing signs of showing up.
Anyway, I'm Ting AB. I can't do this right now, so I'm shifting focus on a few other things that are more in my control. DH is completely supportive of this & says that we'll hit it running in a few months, even if it takes paying for it all out of pocket. He is an amazing guy!
Ok, I'm sick of crying. I'm going to go try to suck it up before everyone gets back. TTYL!
Misty, you were right, Sunday is a bad day to test. I ended up having him drop me off at mom & dad's on his way to the meeting. I came over in workout cloaths & did 45 mins on their treadmill. that's 1.75 miles, if anyone cares. I tried to9 deny it, but my hopes were up. "What if this actually was it?" So, now that she broke my heart again, AF is adding injury to insult & showing signs of showing up.
Anyway, I'm Ting AB. I can't do this right now, so I'm shifting focus on a few other things that are more in my control. DH is completely supportive of this & says that we'll hit it running in a few months, even if it takes paying for it all out of pocket. He is an amazing guy!
Ok, I'm sick of crying. I'm going to go try to suck it up before everyone gets back. TTYL!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tagged for 3 things
A couple times now! LOL! Thanks ladies! :^)
First an update- I'm on CD40 now & really not feeling well. I'm very dizzy & would love to just puke. I fell asleep last night shortly after dinner, woke up a few hrs later, watched He.ll's K.itc.hen (yay! La.cey is finally gone!), then went to bed. I spent the night sweating but freezing & took a couple tylenol this morning to see if it might help. I'm planning on POAS on Sunday if AF doesn't show up.
Thanks for all the support on yesterday's post. I told DH last night that I'm going to test on Sunday, then told him that if we're not pg, I'm going to stop obsessing for a couple months. He's supportive of that. And, YES, I will keep blogging! I'm addicted now!
Ok, here's me by threes! - I tag anyone who hasn't done this yet & wants to! (how's that for not having to think about it?)
THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Steph
2.Stephanie
3.Honey
THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. Hotel Associate/Mngr
2. Call center, tech support
3. Car hop (no roller skates!)
THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED (only 3?)
1. WI
2. S.Dakota
3. MT
THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. He.ll's Kit.chen
2. Ho.use
3. Mo.nk
THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN (again, only 3?)
1. Seattle
2. Myrtle Beach
3. Las Vegas
THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. Italy (specifically Venice)
2. Ireland
3. Everywhere else!
THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Thai (red curry any day!)
2. Greek (esp a good gyro or falafel)
3. Pizza!
THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. The trip to MT
2. Getting the piano tuned
3. Getting my coding/billing certificate (i'm a nerd & always liked school!)
THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. Cuddles, cat (8/96- 6/24/05 he owned me!)
2. Teddy TwoBites, hampster (gave the flipping thing away!)
3. A Beta fish that lived for 3 1/2 yrs, pretty cool fish.
( Still owned by "the gang"- Skittles, Ping, Martini, & Buster!)
THREE FAVORITE BANDS/ ARTISTS
1. One Republic
2. Sarah McLachland
3. Barenaked Ladies
(lots more, but that's just a sampling!)
THREE FAVORITE TEAMS TO WATCH
1. None
2. The one that's NOT on my TV
3. The other guy
THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1.Water
2. Coffee
3. Root Beer
(and fruity alcoholic drinks!)
Hope y'all have a great day!
First an update- I'm on CD40 now & really not feeling well. I'm very dizzy & would love to just puke. I fell asleep last night shortly after dinner, woke up a few hrs later, watched He.ll's K.itc.hen (yay! La.cey is finally gone!), then went to bed. I spent the night sweating but freezing & took a couple tylenol this morning to see if it might help. I'm planning on POAS on Sunday if AF doesn't show up.
Thanks for all the support on yesterday's post. I told DH last night that I'm going to test on Sunday, then told him that if we're not pg, I'm going to stop obsessing for a couple months. He's supportive of that. And, YES, I will keep blogging! I'm addicted now!
Ok, here's me by threes! - I tag anyone who hasn't done this yet & wants to! (how's that for not having to think about it?)
THREE NAMES I GO BY
1. Steph
2.Stephanie
3.Honey
THREE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE
1. Hotel Associate/Mngr
2. Call center, tech support
3. Car hop (no roller skates!)
THREE PLACES I HAVE LIVED (only 3?)
1. WI
2. S.Dakota
3. MT
THREE TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
1. He.ll's Kit.chen
2. Ho.use
3. Mo.nk
THREE PLACES I HAVE BEEN (again, only 3?)
1. Seattle
2. Myrtle Beach
3. Las Vegas
THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. Italy (specifically Venice)
2. Ireland
3. Everywhere else!
THREE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS
1. Thai (red curry any day!)
2. Greek (esp a good gyro or falafel)
3. Pizza!
THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO
1. The trip to MT
2. Getting the piano tuned
3. Getting my coding/billing certificate (i'm a nerd & always liked school!)
THREE PETS THAT YOU HAVE OWNED
1. Cuddles, cat (8/96- 6/24/05 he owned me!)
2. Teddy TwoBites, hampster (gave the flipping thing away!)
3. A Beta fish that lived for 3 1/2 yrs, pretty cool fish.
( Still owned by "the gang"- Skittles, Ping, Martini, & Buster!)
THREE FAVORITE BANDS/ ARTISTS
1. One Republic
2. Sarah McLachland
3. Barenaked Ladies
(lots more, but that's just a sampling!)
THREE FAVORITE TEAMS TO WATCH
1. None
2. The one that's NOT on my TV
3. The other guy
THREE FAVORITE DRINKS
1.Water
2. Coffee
3. Root Beer
(and fruity alcoholic drinks!)
Hope y'all have a great day!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Considering TAB
Before I get into why, thanks for all the responses on the capris! :^D And thanks for the comments on how long to stay in w/a baby, I guess maybe it depends on where you live & time of year. (did you know that the Chinese think it's bad luck to take a baby out before it's 100 days old?)
Ok, on to the subject at hand. I am at a point in my life where I feel like everything is up in the air & nothing is happening. I really want to get out of the job I'm in & find something that would be better for us. I'm also sick of carrying around a "spare tire" & want to do my best to get rid of it. I don't like owing money & have shifted focus to getting things paid off & money in savings. I feel like I'm loosing touch w/IRL friends because they just don't get it & I get impatient being around them. Sex is no longer fun or spontanious, it shouldn't have to be scheduled out & mandatory!
What I'm thinking of doing is just taking a few months. Focus on getting a certificate for the industry I want; focus on working out & really training myself to stick to low carb; focus on the budget & getting things to where I want them; & focus on developing some friendships.
My problem with really deciding to do this is that I think it will still be in my mind. I'll want to keep temping so I at least know when to expect AF. And I want to keep in touch with you ladies. I've really grown to care alot about my TTC sisters! But, I don't know if I really "belong" there if I TAB. I feel that way a little already. Everyone else has their tests, DAs, meds, u/s, etc & I'm just trying naturally. So I feel bad when I vent any frustrations to you ladies because you should all be feeling "go see a dr" towards me. I feel like I've learned so much from being there, I know exactly where I want to start when I can start. That's not really fair to those of you who are paying for an RE though.
I just know that something needs to change soon & I need to make that happen!
Ok, on to the subject at hand. I am at a point in my life where I feel like everything is up in the air & nothing is happening. I really want to get out of the job I'm in & find something that would be better for us. I'm also sick of carrying around a "spare tire" & want to do my best to get rid of it. I don't like owing money & have shifted focus to getting things paid off & money in savings. I feel like I'm loosing touch w/IRL friends because they just don't get it & I get impatient being around them. Sex is no longer fun or spontanious, it shouldn't have to be scheduled out & mandatory!
What I'm thinking of doing is just taking a few months. Focus on getting a certificate for the industry I want; focus on working out & really training myself to stick to low carb; focus on the budget & getting things to where I want them; & focus on developing some friendships.
My problem with really deciding to do this is that I think it will still be in my mind. I'll want to keep temping so I at least know when to expect AF. And I want to keep in touch with you ladies. I've really grown to care alot about my TTC sisters! But, I don't know if I really "belong" there if I TAB. I feel that way a little already. Everyone else has their tests, DAs, meds, u/s, etc & I'm just trying naturally. So I feel bad when I vent any frustrations to you ladies because you should all be feeling "go see a dr" towards me. I feel like I've learned so much from being there, I know exactly where I want to start when I can start. That's not really fair to those of you who are paying for an RE though.
I just know that something needs to change soon & I need to make that happen!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Mini vent
It needs to be said, then I'll shut up about it. Poss trigs for TTCers-
There are 2 new babies in the cong. One of them was born in Feb, he's the second boy in their family. His mom was bringing him about 3 wks after she had him by C-section. No harm has come to either of them.
The second one was born 5 wks ago & no one has seen her unless you go to their house. (i don't honestly know if they're having visitors, i don't feel like going over) The mom had her naturally & it's their first. This is the one who has pcos, wasn't sure if she was going to get pg, got lucky, was nice about telling me, & has tried to be sensitive about it. Well, I noticed last night that she's STILL not in attendance! She made a comment to me before the baby was born about keeping her in for 8wks after birth. I didn't think she was serious!
Has anyone ever heard of this? I think it's crazy! It's a healthy baby, she's not going to break if people see her. I've seen babies out at 2 days old, and I certainly understand not touching a baby w/o washing your hands (not touching at all if you're sick). My first trip the mall was when I was 8 days old.
I understand staying away from people if there are any complications, but this situation does not make sense to me at all. If I'm wrong, please say so though. Be honest, have you heard of this???
There are 2 new babies in the cong. One of them was born in Feb, he's the second boy in their family. His mom was bringing him about 3 wks after she had him by C-section. No harm has come to either of them.
The second one was born 5 wks ago & no one has seen her unless you go to their house. (i don't honestly know if they're having visitors, i don't feel like going over) The mom had her naturally & it's their first. This is the one who has pcos, wasn't sure if she was going to get pg, got lucky, was nice about telling me, & has tried to be sensitive about it. Well, I noticed last night that she's STILL not in attendance! She made a comment to me before the baby was born about keeping her in for 8wks after birth. I didn't think she was serious!
Has anyone ever heard of this? I think it's crazy! It's a healthy baby, she's not going to break if people see her. I've seen babies out at 2 days old, and I certainly understand not touching a baby w/o washing your hands (not touching at all if you're sick). My first trip the mall was when I was 8 days old.
I understand staying away from people if there are any complications, but this situation does not make sense to me at all. If I'm wrong, please say so though. Be honest, have you heard of this???
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Something Light
Alrighty! Time for a light hearted post before all y'all start avoiding my blog! ;^)
Funny Phrases! (yes, this idea was inspired by SpeechGirl!)
One of the best I've heard lately was "A few fries short of a Happy Meal". I gotta admit that this one made me giggle out loud! My previous fav was "Not the brightest crayon in the box". What about you? What's your phrase to describe the 'not so brights'?
Another- I am getting sick of "Emotional Rollercoaster". Not due to our board, but hop around on We.bM.D boards sometime! It's used for everything from dog walking to depression. Rediculous! So, mom & I came up with this one- "Emotional Tilt-A-Whirl". You've got your up, downs, spinning, delight, & nausea! Any other suggestions? (and your reason for why)
Did not get enough recognition-
This is my own fault because I did two posts in one day. So ~AHEM~ A pair of O.N. capris that I bought shortly after moving here FIT!!! I can button AND zip them!!! I bought them knowing they were a size too small, awesome summer clearance. LOL! My arm is getting tired from patting my own back!
Ok. That's really all for today! I hope everyone has a great evening! :^D
Funny Phrases! (yes, this idea was inspired by SpeechGirl!)
One of the best I've heard lately was "A few fries short of a Happy Meal". I gotta admit that this one made me giggle out loud! My previous fav was "Not the brightest crayon in the box". What about you? What's your phrase to describe the 'not so brights'?
Another- I am getting sick of "Emotional Rollercoaster". Not due to our board, but hop around on We.bM.D boards sometime! It's used for everything from dog walking to depression. Rediculous! So, mom & I came up with this one- "Emotional Tilt-A-Whirl". You've got your up, downs, spinning, delight, & nausea! Any other suggestions? (and your reason for why)
Did not get enough recognition-
This is my own fault because I did two posts in one day. So ~AHEM~ A pair of O.N. capris that I bought shortly after moving here FIT!!! I can button AND zip them!!! I bought them knowing they were a size too small, awesome summer clearance. LOL! My arm is getting tired from patting my own back!
Ok. That's really all for today! I hope everyone has a great evening! :^D
Monday, March 23, 2009
My older sister
Ok, I thought of something that I'd like to talk about. It's difficult for me to explain my feelings about this, even to myself, so I hope that none of you will see me as an evil bitch.
My older sister is someone who I have difficulty with, though I do really love her. As I explained, she's mentally handicapped. This isn't her fault & I totally know that. I realize that drs didn't know squat about treating cancer 30 yrs ago. I wonder sometimes though, at what cost they save lives. Sure, she's alive, but not as a normal 32yr old. She's happy for the most part. My parents converted their walkout basement into an apt for her, so she has some independancy & she loves that. But she doesn't drive, doesn't have any kind of job or career, she doesn't date & won't get married, she doesn't interact normally with her peers. Is it fair that they made that choice?
She was not at all easy to grow up with! She resented the fact that I was born & tried to kill me on a couple of occasions. She can be so sweet & generous, then have a sudden mood swing & be screaming & throwing things. It didn't improve much as we got older. She was the oldest, but I was left in charge if mom & dad went out for the evening. I was the first one to drive, to get a job, to graduate, to have a BF, to get married. The people around her age group related better to me. I'm sure it wasn't any easier on her than it was on me. I'm sure she was just as frustrated as I was about it. She can also be quite embarassing. She's getting better, but there was no way I wanted her with me when I was a teen trying to find my style & personality.
Of course, none of this was easy on my parents either. I don't think that any parent wants to go through what they did. Before she got sick, she was a healthy, very smart baby. I've seen pictures, she was so happy, always smiling. It's easy to tell the pics of before she was sick from the ones after. I'm sure raising her was no picnic! They've done a great job despite the difficulty though. It may have been easier to send her away to some group home, but mom & dad didn't want the family split up & wanted her raised with religious values. It worked. Basic math often fails her, but ask her a bible question some time! She'd shock you!
We've gotten along much better since we've both gotten older. My DH is a fantastic person who accepted me & my family "as is". He's really sweet to her & never made me feel 'inferior' for being related to her. We still have our moments though, but I think all sisters do. My little sis has become a wonderful "buffer" between us. She's the one who really has any sort of patience! (she gets it from mom) We've gotten to where we can actually have fun when the 3 of us hang out.
I still find myself needing to work on patience though. Esp when I get worn out & fed up with all the hassles of the day & the pressure of work, and being a wife, & TTC. Being around someone who doesn't really have any worries can be a little irritating. I'm sure she'd rather have them though & be "normal" (who the hell decides what normal is anyway!). It can also be frustrating to be around other people with her. She's high functioning enough that some don't really pick up on the fact that she's not all there right away. Others have decided that the family just "babies" her & will start crap about us being unfair in holding her back from... (whatever they think she should be able to do)
There are, of course, also great lessons in life that the family has learned. The things you can only know if you've had to slow down & take a stroll through Holland instead of jetting through Italy. http://journeyofhearts.org/kirstimd/holland.htm
Anyway. I just thought I'd put this out here. I know it doesn't make any sense. There are days where I'll be so fed up with her, yet I'd defend her tooth & nail if anyone started picking on her. (always have) Please just don't crucify me if you ever catch me on one of the bad days!
My older sister is someone who I have difficulty with, though I do really love her. As I explained, she's mentally handicapped. This isn't her fault & I totally know that. I realize that drs didn't know squat about treating cancer 30 yrs ago. I wonder sometimes though, at what cost they save lives. Sure, she's alive, but not as a normal 32yr old. She's happy for the most part. My parents converted their walkout basement into an apt for her, so she has some independancy & she loves that. But she doesn't drive, doesn't have any kind of job or career, she doesn't date & won't get married, she doesn't interact normally with her peers. Is it fair that they made that choice?
She was not at all easy to grow up with! She resented the fact that I was born & tried to kill me on a couple of occasions. She can be so sweet & generous, then have a sudden mood swing & be screaming & throwing things. It didn't improve much as we got older. She was the oldest, but I was left in charge if mom & dad went out for the evening. I was the first one to drive, to get a job, to graduate, to have a BF, to get married. The people around her age group related better to me. I'm sure it wasn't any easier on her than it was on me. I'm sure she was just as frustrated as I was about it. She can also be quite embarassing. She's getting better, but there was no way I wanted her with me when I was a teen trying to find my style & personality.
Of course, none of this was easy on my parents either. I don't think that any parent wants to go through what they did. Before she got sick, she was a healthy, very smart baby. I've seen pictures, she was so happy, always smiling. It's easy to tell the pics of before she was sick from the ones after. I'm sure raising her was no picnic! They've done a great job despite the difficulty though. It may have been easier to send her away to some group home, but mom & dad didn't want the family split up & wanted her raised with religious values. It worked. Basic math often fails her, but ask her a bible question some time! She'd shock you!
We've gotten along much better since we've both gotten older. My DH is a fantastic person who accepted me & my family "as is". He's really sweet to her & never made me feel 'inferior' for being related to her. We still have our moments though, but I think all sisters do. My little sis has become a wonderful "buffer" between us. She's the one who really has any sort of patience! (she gets it from mom) We've gotten to where we can actually have fun when the 3 of us hang out.
I still find myself needing to work on patience though. Esp when I get worn out & fed up with all the hassles of the day & the pressure of work, and being a wife, & TTC. Being around someone who doesn't really have any worries can be a little irritating. I'm sure she'd rather have them though & be "normal" (who the hell decides what normal is anyway!). It can also be frustrating to be around other people with her. She's high functioning enough that some don't really pick up on the fact that she's not all there right away. Others have decided that the family just "babies" her & will start crap about us being unfair in holding her back from... (whatever they think she should be able to do)
There are, of course, also great lessons in life that the family has learned. The things you can only know if you've had to slow down & take a stroll through Holland instead of jetting through Italy. http://journeyofhearts.org/kirstimd/holland.htm
Anyway. I just thought I'd put this out here. I know it doesn't make any sense. There are days where I'll be so fed up with her, yet I'd defend her tooth & nail if anyone started picking on her. (always have) Please just don't crucify me if you ever catch me on one of the bad days!
CD 36
Dangit! WHERE is AF??? I had spot on Sat & thought it was her, but nope! She never showed. This is just getting on my nerves now. When did I test? Last Tues? Wed? Whatever, it was a neg, so it's time for her to get here now. If any of y'all has her, you could send her my way! (or i'd gladly take her from my sis!)
I got really frusterated this weekend. I didn't get anything done that needed to be done! I wanted to keep organizing in the office & laundry is usually done on the wkend. Not to say that I didn't do anything, but weekends are just too short! DH offered to do his own laundry today & I'll finish up the rest when I get home later. (i usually sort out his icky work cloathes into their own load, so he really is helping)
My good news from the weekend- It was nice out yesterday, so I was trying on various pairs of capris from my closet. I came across a pair that I bought at O.N. shortly after I moved here. I bought them because they were only a size smaller than what I was wearing at the time & on mega clearance. THEY FINALLY FIT! I can button AND zip them! Woohoo!
Umm, I can't think of anything to talk about today. Let's hope that Monday hurries the heck up. I'm ready to go home already & I've only been at work for 2hrs. What I am enjoying right now is Jenn's music list! I didn't know anyone else liked Blue October! : )
I got really frusterated this weekend. I didn't get anything done that needed to be done! I wanted to keep organizing in the office & laundry is usually done on the wkend. Not to say that I didn't do anything, but weekends are just too short! DH offered to do his own laundry today & I'll finish up the rest when I get home later. (i usually sort out his icky work cloathes into their own load, so he really is helping)
My good news from the weekend- It was nice out yesterday, so I was trying on various pairs of capris from my closet. I came across a pair that I bought at O.N. shortly after I moved here. I bought them because they were only a size smaller than what I was wearing at the time & on mega clearance. THEY FINALLY FIT! I can button AND zip them! Woohoo!
Umm, I can't think of anything to talk about today. Let's hope that Monday hurries the heck up. I'm ready to go home already & I've only been at work for 2hrs. What I am enjoying right now is Jenn's music list! I didn't know anyone else liked Blue October! : )
Friday, March 20, 2009
IF & your relationship w/God
Ok, this is a religious post, so if you'd rather not read, it's ok. If you do choose to read it, I'll warn you that it may be triggery.
There was a post on the board yesterday about the way that IF can make one question everything in life, including your faith in God. It is certainly frustrating to go through IF while children are born every day to druggies & abusers. One of the biggest questions asked is "If God cares, why does He let let this happen?" Or, another version "If He cares, why doesn't he step in & fix it?"
Unfortunately, I recently found myself dealing with these feelings. I found it very difficult to realize & aknowledge this. I have always considered my faith to be a core part of my personality & way of life. Yet, I found myself feeling angry towards God over my situation. This frightened me! I've always believed in a loving, caring God & what I was feeling just couldn't fit in with that. I've gone back over some of my core beliefs & realized that my feelings are very mis-directed. I prayed for forgiveness & poured out my feelings of inadequacy & failure along with my frustration over my imperfect body & the general condition of the world. I felt a warmth & calm that I haven't felt in a couple months.
That being said, I'd like to share a couple of those beliefs with you. I'm not trying to change anyone's religion, I just hope you will find them as comforting as I do. At the very least, it'll help you to understand a little more of where I'm coming from.
~ God does not cause any of the suffering in the world (including our health problems) - Job 34:10 says: “Far be it from the true God to act wickedly, and the Almighty to act unjustly!”
James 1:13 states: “When under trial, let no one say: ‘I am being tried by God.’ For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.”
~ We are imperfect & suffer due to the disobedience & sin of the first human pair, Adam & Eve. When they partook of the fruit in the garden, they were rebelling against God's way of ruling & raised an issue of of the right to rule. God was publicly accused of lying to His human children & withholding good things from them. (account found in Genesis chapters 1-3)
These accusations could not simply be ignored, God's quality of perfect justice would not allow it. Therefore, earth is now under human rulers who are being directed by Satan, the same one who mislead Eve. 1 John 5:19 : “The whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one.” Jesus identified the "wicked one" as Satan the Devil, whom he called “the ruler of the world.” (John 14:30)
Since Adam & Eve had children after they lost perfection, we see & feel the effects of imperfection that was passed onto all of us. Romans 5:12- "That is why, just as through one man sin entered into the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because they had all sinned."
In addition to our own ailments, we see the following conditions in the world around us.- The current world conditions & underlying spirit of greed, cruelty, deceptiveness, & hate do not come from God.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 - But know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, self-assuming, haughty, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, disloyal, 3 having no natural affection, not open to any agreement, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness, 4 betrayers, headstrong, puffed up [with pride], lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power; and from these turn away.
Ecclesiastes 8:9 - "All this I have seen, and there was an applying of my heart to every work that has been done under the sun, [during] the time that man has dominated man to his injury."
Romans 8:22 - "For we know that all creation keeps on groaning together and being in pain together until now."
~ So, does God see & care about the troubles & problems that we face? YES! One of my fav scriptures is "A heart broken and crushed, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17) or Psalm 72:12, 13 - "He will deliver the poor one crying for help, also the afflicted one and whoever has no helper. He will feel sorry for the lowly one and the poor one, and the souls of the poor ones he will save."
God hears us when we call out to Him & invites us to unload our problems on Him through prayer - Psalm 55:22- "Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself,And he himself will sustain you.Never will he allow the righteous one to totter."
Also Philippians 4:6, 7- "Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus."
~ The world will NOT be like this forever! What we see around us was not God's intention for the planet, and He will not allow it to continue indefinitely.
Daniel 2:44 - “And in the days of those kings the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that will never be brought to ruin. And the kingdom itself will not be passed on to any other people. It will crush and put an end to all these kingdoms, and it itself will stand to times indefinite."
Revelation 21:3, 4- 3 With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples. And God himself will be with them. 4 And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”
Isaiah 33:24- "And no resident will say: “I am sick.” The people that are dwelling in [the land] will be those pardoned for their error. "
Psalm 46:9 - "He is making wars to cease to the extremity of the earth.The bow he breaks apart and does cut the spear in pieces;The wagons he burns in the fire."
Psalms 72:16- "There will come to be plenty of grain on the earth;On the top of the mountains there will be an overflow.His fruit will be as in Leb´a·non,And those who are from the city will blossom like the vegetation of the earth."
Isaiah 25:8 - "He will actually swallow up death forever, and the Sovereign Lord Jehovah will certainly wipe the tears from all faces. And the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for Jehovah himself has spoken [it]. "
2 Corinthians 1:20 -“No matter how many the promises of God are, they have become Yes by means of him."
~
Ok, so this is really just the tip of the iceberg of the comforting message & hope offered in the bible. I really hope I didn't upset or offend anyone. You are free to ask me any questions you may have, or check out http://www.watchtower.org/ . The "search" function is a good one!
I realize that we all may differ on beliefs, so if what I have typed is not how you believe, please keep your comments respectful of my beliefs.
(((HUGS))) to you all & hopes that we're all out of this pain soon!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tickets are officially purchased!
Woohoo! We're really going!
And
Gaaaaaaa! We're really going!
I am so excited to see the family all together. We haven't seen some of them since we moved. The grandparents who live there have offered to let us stay with them. In all honesty, I'd prefer a hotel, but I'm leaving it up to DH. It would save us about $250 & I don't want to offend them. It's just that they only have one bathroom & I take a while to get ready in the morning.
But I am so NOT looking forward to running into some of the other people we'll see. The thought of seeing some of them & the inevitable questions about reproducing honestly makes me want to throw up! How do I know they'll ask? Because these are people who knew me as a teen. I've always loved children & it's always been my plan to get married & be a mom. So, they were shocked enough that I waited 5yrs into marriage w/o kids. Most of them asked when I last saw them 3yrs ago. It was known then that I was ready. Well, here I am, still ready, but still not a mom. AND it means that I'll get the visual reminder of seeing how many children they've had in the same amount of time & how big they're getting! Maybe I'll get a miracle & I can tell everyone I'm KU, but yeah right!
So, the only thing I have control over between now & then is trying to look good! LOL! I'm going to make up a calendar that I can put on my bedroom wall & put a star for everyday I go for a walk. Yes, I know that sounds lame, but visual is good for me. I also need to make sure I sched an eye exam & get contacts before we go. And I'l talk to my friend E about doing something great w/my hair, even if it's just a trim & highlights.
Thanks for listening, this prob won't be my last freakout between now & then!
And
Gaaaaaaa! We're really going!
I am so excited to see the family all together. We haven't seen some of them since we moved. The grandparents who live there have offered to let us stay with them. In all honesty, I'd prefer a hotel, but I'm leaving it up to DH. It would save us about $250 & I don't want to offend them. It's just that they only have one bathroom & I take a while to get ready in the morning.
But I am so NOT looking forward to running into some of the other people we'll see. The thought of seeing some of them & the inevitable questions about reproducing honestly makes me want to throw up! How do I know they'll ask? Because these are people who knew me as a teen. I've always loved children & it's always been my plan to get married & be a mom. So, they were shocked enough that I waited 5yrs into marriage w/o kids. Most of them asked when I last saw them 3yrs ago. It was known then that I was ready. Well, here I am, still ready, but still not a mom. AND it means that I'll get the visual reminder of seeing how many children they've had in the same amount of time & how big they're getting! Maybe I'll get a miracle & I can tell everyone I'm KU, but yeah right!
So, the only thing I have control over between now & then is trying to look good! LOL! I'm going to make up a calendar that I can put on my bedroom wall & put a star for everyday I go for a walk. Yes, I know that sounds lame, but visual is good for me. I also need to make sure I sched an eye exam & get contacts before we go. And I'l talk to my friend E about doing something great w/my hair, even if it's just a trim & highlights.
Thanks for listening, this prob won't be my last freakout between now & then!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thanks Ladies!
Ok, feeling a little better today. Still bummed, but I see DH's point. It's not like he lost his job, or is out of work, he just didn't get this opportunity. Something else w/ins will come along for one of us.
I POAS last night- BFN. I didn't really expect it to be +, but you know what it's like when your C starts playing mind games. I had a wonderful dream last night. I dreamt that I was pg, I could even feel the baby moving. Then I dreamt that I was trying to BF my newborn (it was a boy) & some lady kept trying to feed him a PB sandwich! I was telling her that he was too little for solid food & that I'd decided to exclusively BF, but she kept trying to tell me that she would turn me in for child abuse for not feeding him. So I had DH throw her out of our home.
I need y'all's advice & opinions please. I still want to get into med billing & coding, which requires more schooling. So I could either do a certification class, which is worth about 6 credits if I ever choose to go further with it. The benefit is that it's a shorter course & costs around $800. Most schools that offer it have a downpayment, then monthly payment plans. OR I could get an AS degree. It's about 18-24 months & would require a student loan because it's approx $2500. The benefit is that it's an actual degree, not just a cert.
Do you think it really matters as far as getting a job? If it was your choice, which would you do & why? No worries, none of you would be accountable for what I do, I'd just like opinions. :^)
I POAS last night- BFN. I didn't really expect it to be +, but you know what it's like when your C starts playing mind games. I had a wonderful dream last night. I dreamt that I was pg, I could even feel the baby moving. Then I dreamt that I was trying to BF my newborn (it was a boy) & some lady kept trying to feed him a PB sandwich! I was telling her that he was too little for solid food & that I'd decided to exclusively BF, but she kept trying to tell me that she would turn me in for child abuse for not feeding him. So I had DH throw her out of our home.
I need y'all's advice & opinions please. I still want to get into med billing & coding, which requires more schooling. So I could either do a certification class, which is worth about 6 credits if I ever choose to go further with it. The benefit is that it's a shorter course & costs around $800. Most schools that offer it have a downpayment, then monthly payment plans. OR I could get an AS degree. It's about 18-24 months & would require a student loan because it's approx $2500. The benefit is that it's an actual degree, not just a cert.
Do you think it really matters as far as getting a job? If it was your choice, which would you do & why? No worries, none of you would be accountable for what I do, I'd just like opinions. :^)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
SHIT!!!
Sorry, I make it a point not to cuss, but the substitutes I thought of just don't quite describe it!
DH did not get the job. They chose someone with more restoration experience. That SUCKS!!! I'm seriously trying not to cry at work. DH took it rather well & is telling me it's ok. He says "at least I still have a good job & seniority where I am. We're ok." I know, I just really wanted this to work out! I wanted to be on the same sched, the pay raise would've been nice, & I ~REALLY ~ wanted ins!!!!! Is it bad of me to hope that the guy they chose is a drunk who will stop showing up for work 4 days into the job?
By the way, told you I'm a jinx! Awesome stuff just does not happen for me.
Blah, and I'm hormonal. This is a bad combo! I want to blow off the day & go drink Mai'tais or Sake until I'm giggling for no good reason. Anyone want to join me?
BTW- thanks for the comments on the piano. As far as the neighbors go, I don't really care if they don't like it. The people below me stink up my house with cig smoke all the time & their kids scream non stop. The people next door have surround sound & large gatherings every weekend. I'll follow the "quiet hrs" & keep the lid closed to prevent the cats from playing, but IMO, it's my home & they should be glad I don't play the drums!
DH did not get the job. They chose someone with more restoration experience. That SUCKS!!! I'm seriously trying not to cry at work. DH took it rather well & is telling me it's ok. He says "at least I still have a good job & seniority where I am. We're ok." I know, I just really wanted this to work out! I wanted to be on the same sched, the pay raise would've been nice, & I ~REALLY ~ wanted ins!!!!! Is it bad of me to hope that the guy they chose is a drunk who will stop showing up for work 4 days into the job?
By the way, told you I'm a jinx! Awesome stuff just does not happen for me.
Blah, and I'm hormonal. This is a bad combo! I want to blow off the day & go drink Mai'tais or Sake until I'm giggling for no good reason. Anyone want to join me?
BTW- thanks for the comments on the piano. As far as the neighbors go, I don't really care if they don't like it. The people below me stink up my house with cig smoke all the time & their kids scream non stop. The people next door have surround sound & large gatherings every weekend. I'll follow the "quiet hrs" & keep the lid closed to prevent the cats from playing, but IMO, it's my home & they should be glad I don't play the drums!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Productive W/E!
Ok, so we got the piano on Saturday! Woohoo! It's a Baldwin & we tried looking up the serial # on-line, their database is under construction, but it was probably made somewhere between 1960-1970. For the rocord, it's not big, but it weighs about 500 pounds! DH, dad, & I managed to get it up the stairs, one of those times I wished I had done a downstairs apt! DH made sure I remembered all wkend that I owed him. ~eyeroll~ Bad news, I stubbed my toe getting this into the office (ever see those "furniture gliders? totally worth it!) & it broke the nail down to the bleeding point. Ooowieee! It's all bandaged now & will be until the nail grows back.
That's Skittles next to the piano, she was not impressed! Mom titled this pic "The new baby & the jealous big sister" LOL!
The room that it's in is the "office". I spent a good deal of my wkend in there organizing. We have boxes labeled "papers to sort through" that have moved with us too many times! So, I'm shredding anything that's 2005 or older. We honestly don't need check stubs from 1998 anymore! I've gotten through 2 of the 4!
That's Skittles next to the piano, she was not impressed! Mom titled this pic "The new baby & the jealous big sister" LOL!
The room that it's in is the "office". I spent a good deal of my wkend in there organizing. We have boxes labeled "papers to sort through" that have moved with us too many times! So, I'm shredding anything that's 2005 or older. We honestly don't need check stubs from 1998 anymore! I've gotten through 2 of the 4! Then, I'm going to go through the recent papers & get them organized into the filing cabinet. Then, I'm going through the rest of the stuff. I've sorted some stuff out to go to Goodwill. Other things that I'm giving to friends. (i came across a box that had bubbles & sidewalk chalk. i kept it around for my nieces, giving it to E for her 3yr old) THEN I'm going to go through all my arts & crafts stuff! I need to go to Bi.gLo.ts & get some of those Ru.bbe.rma.id stackable drawers & sort things according to what it is. I told DH that the next time we move, that room will be organized & we will not be moving junk!
Once the office is done, the bedroom is next! Time to figure out what in the closet & drawers fits & what's going to Goo.dW.ill! I am an unstopable organizing woman on a mission!!!
Other stuff- The stupid weird spotting has kept up off & on. No pain or cramps, & I've had enough of it now. I just want AF to get here so I can get onto a new C.
I'm also totally sick of the dang rain! It's supposed to start going away & getting warmer tomorrow. C'mon sunshine! I figured out a "walk to" point that will give me a little over a mile round-trip, time to try it!
Friday, March 13, 2009
TGIF!
If I did this right, there's a pic of an LOLcat. I love that site! This one cracks me up because of the look on the cat's face. My little sis had one that I could see doing this. Pets are great, if the cable ever goes out, I could still have entertainment.
I am trying to pull myself out of crankiness. For the last 1 1/2 wks, I've been irritable & snappy. I can't quite explain it, but I know I've been impatient w/DH & I feel bad about it. We're supposed to have a wk of rain now, so that won't help. On the other hand, I would swear that he's trying to drive me insane, but that's not really a reason to snap. Yes, I've been taking my meds. They taste like s*** though & I'll be changing back to the name brand the instant we have ins. Little rant- I don't get why a $2 bottle of Ty.len.ol can have a sugar coating on the pills, but a $50/month prescription doesn't! ($50 is the adjusted price, i have a wal-gre.ens card that knocks off $20/month. the name-brand ones are $145/month even with the card!!!)
The person who interveiwed DH approved the hire. Waiting on the franchise owner to sign off on it. mini woohoo. The guy could still say 'no', but it's looking good!
Having Thai w/mom & sis today! Yaaay! I LOVE Thai! It's full of flavor, but not sugary or salty like way too many Chinese places.
That's about it. As long as I remember to do it, I will try to do a couple of pics posts this weekend. Maybe I should set a reminder on my phone?
hope y'all have a quick workday & great weekend! :^)
I am trying to pull myself out of crankiness. For the last 1 1/2 wks, I've been irritable & snappy. I can't quite explain it, but I know I've been impatient w/DH & I feel bad about it. We're supposed to have a wk of rain now, so that won't help. On the other hand, I would swear that he's trying to drive me insane, but that's not really a reason to snap. Yes, I've been taking my meds. They taste like s*** though & I'll be changing back to the name brand the instant we have ins. Little rant- I don't get why a $2 bottle of Ty.len.ol can have a sugar coating on the pills, but a $50/month prescription doesn't! ($50 is the adjusted price, i have a wal-gre.ens card that knocks off $20/month. the name-brand ones are $145/month even with the card!!!)
The person who interveiwed DH approved the hire. Waiting on the franchise owner to sign off on it. mini woohoo. The guy could still say 'no', but it's looking good!
Having Thai w/mom & sis today! Yaaay! I LOVE Thai! It's full of flavor, but not sugary or salty like way too many Chinese places.
That's about it. As long as I remember to do it, I will try to do a couple of pics posts this weekend. Maybe I should set a reminder on my phone?
hope y'all have a quick workday & great weekend! :^)
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thoughts on Thursday
First one being- Dang, I'm tired! I like that the days are "longer", but having a hard time convincing my body that it's time to get up in the morning!
It's cooler today, getting cloudy out. We're supposed to have about a wk of rain. We need it, but I've loved the sunny 80* days we've been having!
Tonight is Su.rvi.vor & He.ll's Ki.tch.en. I love Go.rdo.n Ra.mse.y! Mom, little sis, & I all get together to watch it. I've lost interest in Am.eri.can Id.ol. Mostly I got sick of listening to the judges. Kara really irritates me for some reason.
DH should know something about the job at Ser.veP.ro today. The woman who interviewed him has been out sick, but is back in the office now. I've got everything crossed & prayers sent! It would be so great to get on the same sched & the pay increase, & ins!
I think we're picking up the piano this wkend! I'm borrowing a dolly from the guy I work with & my dad has said he'll help me since DH has to work. Time to clip my nails down so I can get to practicing!
Some of you ladies are nuts! I vent about getting a really triggery e-mail & I got 3 requests to forward it! Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you. Anyway, I waited until I wasn't upset to send a quick e-mail to her to let her know that things like that really bother me & she apologized. I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose.
Well, that's all I can think of for now. I need to get out & do something so I'll have something interesting to post about!
It's cooler today, getting cloudy out. We're supposed to have about a wk of rain. We need it, but I've loved the sunny 80* days we've been having!
Tonight is Su.rvi.vor & He.ll's Ki.tch.en. I love Go.rdo.n Ra.mse.y! Mom, little sis, & I all get together to watch it. I've lost interest in Am.eri.can Id.ol. Mostly I got sick of listening to the judges. Kara really irritates me for some reason.
DH should know something about the job at Ser.veP.ro today. The woman who interviewed him has been out sick, but is back in the office now. I've got everything crossed & prayers sent! It would be so great to get on the same sched & the pay increase, & ins!
I think we're picking up the piano this wkend! I'm borrowing a dolly from the guy I work with & my dad has said he'll help me since DH has to work. Time to clip my nails down so I can get to practicing!
Some of you ladies are nuts! I vent about getting a really triggery e-mail & I got 3 requests to forward it! Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you. Anyway, I waited until I wasn't upset to send a quick e-mail to her to let her know that things like that really bother me & she apologized. I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose.
Well, that's all I can think of for now. I need to get out & do something so I'll have something interesting to post about!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
"Perspective" email
I don't know how to respond to that! I just got an email from someone with pics that show the perspective of our own problems. It made me want to cry & throw up. It was a collection of third-world country pics, emphasising that lack of basic necessities that many people take for granted. It was sent to me by someone I met on We.bM.D, but don't really know very well (not someone on our board). I am of a somewhat sensitive nature, & things like that really disturb me. It's not like I'm ignorant to the fact that these problems exist, but dwelling on them will send me into a depression spiral.
After the initial shock of seeing this, I'm kinda angry with her. I don't send forwards in general, but esp not the upsetting ones. I don't feel as though she knows me well enough to know how I'd react to that. She did not even mark it with any kind of trigger warning. I'm not sure what to say to her. I would like to convey that I DON'T want to see stuff like that, but I'm concerned about anger coming through in my post. What would you do? Say something? Ignore it? Block her posts? (though i hate to do that w/o giving a reason) I'm honestly at a loss...
After the initial shock of seeing this, I'm kinda angry with her. I don't send forwards in general, but esp not the upsetting ones. I don't feel as though she knows me well enough to know how I'd react to that. She did not even mark it with any kind of trigger warning. I'm not sure what to say to her. I would like to convey that I DON'T want to see stuff like that, but I'm concerned about anger coming through in my post. What would you do? Say something? Ignore it? Block her posts? (though i hate to do that w/o giving a reason) I'm honestly at a loss...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The letter "C"
Haha! That feels like Ses.am.e S.tre.et sponsorship! Katie gave me the letter C, so here are things I like that start with it-
1. Cats. Big, little, domestic, wild, they all pretty much act the same! Really, you all knew that would be the first one, right?
2. Clouds. The big fluffy ones that turn a sutset into a stunning work of art!
3. Cheese! WI girl all the way.
4. Coffee. Can't start the day w/o it!
5. Crochet. Easy & fun.
6. Chatting! I'm a natural born talker, I can chat it up with almost anyone.
Ok, that's fun! I'll end it there so this doesn't get too long. We should pick new letters & do this again next week. If anyone wants a letter, let me know!
~~~~~~
Not much else going on today. Beginning to think that I may not O this C. It may still happen, but the ferning is starting to go away, I've had almost no O cramps, & I am sooo dry! Where's my EWCM???
1. Cats. Big, little, domestic, wild, they all pretty much act the same! Really, you all knew that would be the first one, right?
2. Clouds. The big fluffy ones that turn a sutset into a stunning work of art!
3. Cheese! WI girl all the way.
4. Coffee. Can't start the day w/o it!
5. Crochet. Easy & fun.
6. Chatting! I'm a natural born talker, I can chat it up with almost anyone.
Ok, that's fun! I'll end it there so this doesn't get too long. We should pick new letters & do this again next week. If anyone wants a letter, let me know!
~~~~~~
Not much else going on today. Beginning to think that I may not O this C. It may still happen, but the ferning is starting to go away, I've had almost no O cramps, & I am sooo dry! Where's my EWCM???
Monday, March 9, 2009
Good news, so excited!
I almost forgot to tell y'all- I'm getting a piano!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember the friend I was helping with the wedding? Well, when I was there then, there was a piano in their hallway that someone in the family was supposed to come get. E's mil told me that she'd keep me in mind for the next one she needs a home for. Mom & I went to cheer up E last night & the piano was still sitting there. I was joking but said "dang it, if that thing is still here by the weekend, I'm gonna come over & get it!" A few minutes later she shows me a text on her phone that said "yeah, that's fine. If Steph wants it she can have it" I almost cried!
I'm going to try to get over there Wed night to get it. I don't think that getting it up the stairs to my apt will be very fun, but we managed to get everything else up. It needs to be tuned & a couple of the keys stick down, but I think it's fixable. Mom wants to check what it would cost & she and dad may do that as our anniversary gift, or contribute part of it.
Now if I O & DH gets a positive call back about the job, my week will be complete!
Remember the friend I was helping with the wedding? Well, when I was there then, there was a piano in their hallway that someone in the family was supposed to come get. E's mil told me that she'd keep me in mind for the next one she needs a home for. Mom & I went to cheer up E last night & the piano was still sitting there. I was joking but said "dang it, if that thing is still here by the weekend, I'm gonna come over & get it!" A few minutes later she shows me a text on her phone that said "yeah, that's fine. If Steph wants it she can have it" I almost cried!
I'm going to try to get over there Wed night to get it. I don't think that getting it up the stairs to my apt will be very fun, but we managed to get everything else up. It needs to be tuned & a couple of the keys stick down, but I think it's fixable. Mom wants to check what it would cost & she and dad may do that as our anniversary gift, or contribute part of it.
Now if I O & DH gets a positive call back about the job, my week will be complete!
What I'd like to say to everyone in my congregation
None of them read this blog, so I feel it's pretty safe to post this here & at least get it out! There are a few who understand what I'm going through, but not many. So, here goes---
I know I may look fine, but I'm not. I live with a disability that interferes with nearly every aspect of my life. I deal with infertility. I know this may not seem like a huge issue to you, but it causes a great deal of pain in my life.
For starters, there's the physical pain. I don't have a complete diagnosis, but the partial one I have confirmed cysts on my ovaries. They get so painful some days and feel like sharp stabbing or throbbing pains in my side. AF visits are also no fun, generally leaving me "half dead" for about two days.
That's nothing in compareson though to the emotional pain that I go through. I feel inadequate, women are supposed to be able to bear children & I can't. I've had dream of raising a family & what my children would look like for as long as I can remember. My husband would be a fantastic father & I feel bad that I can't give him children. I have days where I break into tears due to the stress that this causes. Every happy family or pg belly I see is just a reminder of this. Many comments, probably not intended to be mean, cut into me deeper than imaginable. Comments such as "oh, you're young", "just relax", or "be glad you don't have to deal with..." don't help, they only make me feel like you are minimizing my pain. Putting a rumor on your Facebook page about your wife being pg, "just to see how quickly it would get around", is not funny. It is childish & immature. Holding your child while talking to me about how much lighter your cycles have gotten & hoping that it means you're loosing your fertility is just mean. Fertility is a gift & you have no idea what it's really like to not have it.
One of the worst things about my disability is that I suffer it basically alone & silently. What goes on in our bedroom is, as it should be, a private matter. Not to minimize the pain that anyone with other disabilities goes through, but many times I feel as though this would be easier if I had something that people could see. Those who have artheritis, fibromyalgia, blindness, sarcoidosis, etc. can at least say so. You may not fully understand their issues either, but at least they can say them openly. I usually think that I would rather be missing a limb than deal with IF.
I don't want everyone to walk on eggshells around me, but maybe you could just stop and think for a minute. If you have children, think about how much you love them, imagine not having that in your life. If you chose not to have children, try to think about how you would feel if it hadn't been a choice, if it had been decided for you. If neither of those work, just try asking yourself if you would talk about climbing a hill to a person in a wheelchair. IF is my wheelchair. Maybe someday I'll get away from it, but I'll never forget the scar it leaves.
~~~~~~~
Thanks for listening if you got all the way through that. I know that the ladies who read this could probably have written that themselves. It just feels SOOO much better to get it out!
On the good side- It's gorgeous today! Third day in a row of sunny, 75* weather! Woohoo! Spring has sprung! =^D
I know I may look fine, but I'm not. I live with a disability that interferes with nearly every aspect of my life. I deal with infertility. I know this may not seem like a huge issue to you, but it causes a great deal of pain in my life.
For starters, there's the physical pain. I don't have a complete diagnosis, but the partial one I have confirmed cysts on my ovaries. They get so painful some days and feel like sharp stabbing or throbbing pains in my side. AF visits are also no fun, generally leaving me "half dead" for about two days.
That's nothing in compareson though to the emotional pain that I go through. I feel inadequate, women are supposed to be able to bear children & I can't. I've had dream of raising a family & what my children would look like for as long as I can remember. My husband would be a fantastic father & I feel bad that I can't give him children. I have days where I break into tears due to the stress that this causes. Every happy family or pg belly I see is just a reminder of this. Many comments, probably not intended to be mean, cut into me deeper than imaginable. Comments such as "oh, you're young", "just relax", or "be glad you don't have to deal with..." don't help, they only make me feel like you are minimizing my pain. Putting a rumor on your Facebook page about your wife being pg, "just to see how quickly it would get around", is not funny. It is childish & immature. Holding your child while talking to me about how much lighter your cycles have gotten & hoping that it means you're loosing your fertility is just mean. Fertility is a gift & you have no idea what it's really like to not have it.
One of the worst things about my disability is that I suffer it basically alone & silently. What goes on in our bedroom is, as it should be, a private matter. Not to minimize the pain that anyone with other disabilities goes through, but many times I feel as though this would be easier if I had something that people could see. Those who have artheritis, fibromyalgia, blindness, sarcoidosis, etc. can at least say so. You may not fully understand their issues either, but at least they can say them openly. I usually think that I would rather be missing a limb than deal with IF.
I don't want everyone to walk on eggshells around me, but maybe you could just stop and think for a minute. If you have children, think about how much you love them, imagine not having that in your life. If you chose not to have children, try to think about how you would feel if it hadn't been a choice, if it had been decided for you. If neither of those work, just try asking yourself if you would talk about climbing a hill to a person in a wheelchair. IF is my wheelchair. Maybe someday I'll get away from it, but I'll never forget the scar it leaves.
~~~~~~~
Thanks for listening if you got all the way through that. I know that the ladies who read this could probably have written that themselves. It just feels SOOO much better to get it out!
On the good side- It's gorgeous today! Third day in a row of sunny, 75* weather! Woohoo! Spring has sprung! =^D
Friday, March 6, 2009
I'd like to scream out loud!
All right! It's just one of those days! It started with Buster (orange cat) breaking my glasses. I keep their treats on my bedside table by all my vits & stuff. We refer to the treats as "purple vitamins" & he thinks he should get some every time I take something! This morning, he was laying on the bed staring at me, waiting for my eyes to open. As soon as he was sure that I was awake, he headed over to the table. I told him no & to get down, he ended up taking a bunch of stuff off the table with him, including my glasses. When they hit the floor, the screw popped out & I couldn't find it. So I'm wearing contacts today.
For the record- I prefer contacts, but not these ones. The last dr I went to messed up the prescription. She also ordered in a whole box for each eye instead of a sample pair. So I got stuck paying for them (i wear torics, not cheap!). This was right before we moved so there wasn't anything I could do about it. I'm overdue for an eye exam & will be sched one soon.
OK, back to subject. Then I get to work & there's a bunch of stuff that didn't come in. Office mngr is cranky, customers are disappointed, & installers are griping about missing a day of work. Grrrr! I had to run in first thing this morning to pay rent, we ended up with a late fee ($50) because it's technically due on the 5th. We only get pd on Fri & did this last month w/o fee, but got a fee this month. I am so looking forward to putting our new budget plan into practice. It will prevent crap like this.
Also, I don't think I mentioned this earlier this wk. Remember the hit & run from Dec? Well, as if the $200 deductable wasn't bad enough, the ins company raised my rate! By $50/month! (i am ins shopping as there is no way that it was our fault!) I've seen the jerk who did it out working on his vehicle this wk. I wanted so badly to go over & give him a piece of my mind, I don't know that his English would even be good enough to understand me though. I'm not usually the vindictive sort, but I hope his engine block is cracked & I want it to cost him a fortune! I would never do it, but think that I should go out every night & put a new dent in his vehicle until I feel better.
Today's good news- DH's check was awesome! If only they were that every week.
It's gorgeous out! Should get to at least 60's, maybe even close to 70's. DH is working tonight, but not tomorrow, so we get a (forcasted to be great) Sat together!
Ok, I feel better now. I think I am going to go get some really hot Thai takeout. It may not be carb friendly, but that's ok. It's a journey, not a race! I wish all of you a great weekend!
For the record- I prefer contacts, but not these ones. The last dr I went to messed up the prescription. She also ordered in a whole box for each eye instead of a sample pair. So I got stuck paying for them (i wear torics, not cheap!). This was right before we moved so there wasn't anything I could do about it. I'm overdue for an eye exam & will be sched one soon.
OK, back to subject. Then I get to work & there's a bunch of stuff that didn't come in. Office mngr is cranky, customers are disappointed, & installers are griping about missing a day of work. Grrrr! I had to run in first thing this morning to pay rent, we ended up with a late fee ($50) because it's technically due on the 5th. We only get pd on Fri & did this last month w/o fee, but got a fee this month. I am so looking forward to putting our new budget plan into practice. It will prevent crap like this.
Also, I don't think I mentioned this earlier this wk. Remember the hit & run from Dec? Well, as if the $200 deductable wasn't bad enough, the ins company raised my rate! By $50/month! (i am ins shopping as there is no way that it was our fault!) I've seen the jerk who did it out working on his vehicle this wk. I wanted so badly to go over & give him a piece of my mind, I don't know that his English would even be good enough to understand me though. I'm not usually the vindictive sort, but I hope his engine block is cracked & I want it to cost him a fortune! I would never do it, but think that I should go out every night & put a new dent in his vehicle until I feel better.
Today's good news- DH's check was awesome! If only they were that every week.
It's gorgeous out! Should get to at least 60's, maybe even close to 70's. DH is working tonight, but not tomorrow, so we get a (forcasted to be great) Sat together!
Ok, I feel better now. I think I am going to go get some really hot Thai takeout. It may not be carb friendly, but that's ok. It's a journey, not a race! I wish all of you a great weekend!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Morning!
Yaay for Wednesday! The weekend is approaching!
Thanks for all the encouragement on the weight loss. I have a lot further to go, but I have to break it into smaller increments, or I get overwhelmed. Misty, I got it from the ticker factory, here's the link for the weight loss ones- http://www.tickerfactory.com/ezticker/ticker_designer.php?type=3
DH & I sat down last night and talked about the budget. It was odd the way it came about. He said "we are going to be getting to the point soon where we will want different things in our life & we won't get there unless we're strict now. We need to get past things paid off & get our savings built up. I don't want to be in this apt forever & the low credit thing is getting old." I just about died to hear him say that! I've heard that before, where was it, oh yeah! I've been saying that for years! Whoever said that men mature slower than women didn't know the 1/2 of it! So, we wrote out a list of everything & figured out what to pay & when. We aren't really as broke as we've been feeling, but we def haven't been strict with ourselves. So, it was a good thing. : )
TMI--- I'm swearing off bacon. We made salads last night & DH cooked some bacon for on top of them. I don't usually eat it, but it smelled & tasted good last night. Well, about an hour or so after dinner, I ended up throwing up. My stomach felt better immediately. For those who don't know this- I don't puke! I fight it tooth & nail until it is not possible to. It's probably been well over a year since I've thrown up. This actually kinda worries me about when I do get pg, hoping the sickness part of it won't hit me too hard!
I'm going to mom & dad's tonight to help cut up carpet samples. Dad is doing a presentation at a school tomorrow about recycling & renewable resources. He works for Mo.ha.wk, they use approx. 1 out of every 4 plastic bottle that recycled to make polyester carpets. They also have a new carpet fiber, So.ro.na (also called Sma.rtS.tra.nd) that's made out of corn polymers. This stuff is cool! The only thing I've found so far that can stain it is permanent marker & nail polish (the polish can be gotten out if treated immediatly & correctly). You can pour bleach on this carpet & it won't take the color out. I'm actually a little bummed that I can't go be a helper, that sounds totally fun. (public speaking does not bother me)
Wow! This is a really boring post. Sorry, I warned ya that my life isn't really that exciting! I hope everyone is having a good day!
Thanks for all the encouragement on the weight loss. I have a lot further to go, but I have to break it into smaller increments, or I get overwhelmed. Misty, I got it from the ticker factory, here's the link for the weight loss ones- http://www.tickerfactory.com/ezticker/ticker_designer.php?type=3
DH & I sat down last night and talked about the budget. It was odd the way it came about. He said "we are going to be getting to the point soon where we will want different things in our life & we won't get there unless we're strict now. We need to get past things paid off & get our savings built up. I don't want to be in this apt forever & the low credit thing is getting old." I just about died to hear him say that! I've heard that before, where was it, oh yeah! I've been saying that for years! Whoever said that men mature slower than women didn't know the 1/2 of it! So, we wrote out a list of everything & figured out what to pay & when. We aren't really as broke as we've been feeling, but we def haven't been strict with ourselves. So, it was a good thing. : )
TMI--- I'm swearing off bacon. We made salads last night & DH cooked some bacon for on top of them. I don't usually eat it, but it smelled & tasted good last night. Well, about an hour or so after dinner, I ended up throwing up. My stomach felt better immediately. For those who don't know this- I don't puke! I fight it tooth & nail until it is not possible to. It's probably been well over a year since I've thrown up. This actually kinda worries me about when I do get pg, hoping the sickness part of it won't hit me too hard!
I'm going to mom & dad's tonight to help cut up carpet samples. Dad is doing a presentation at a school tomorrow about recycling & renewable resources. He works for Mo.ha.wk, they use approx. 1 out of every 4 plastic bottle that recycled to make polyester carpets. They also have a new carpet fiber, So.ro.na (also called Sma.rtS.tra.nd) that's made out of corn polymers. This stuff is cool! The only thing I've found so far that can stain it is permanent marker & nail polish (the polish can be gotten out if treated immediatly & correctly). You can pour bleach on this carpet & it won't take the color out. I'm actually a little bummed that I can't go be a helper, that sounds totally fun. (public speaking does not bother me)
Wow! This is a really boring post. Sorry, I warned ya that my life isn't really that exciting! I hope everyone is having a good day!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The good & the bad
Ok, I'm having a rough day. It's actually the tail end of a rough weekend. But it's not all bad, so I'm trying to focus on the good stuff. I'll get the crappy stuff out of the way first.
The bad~
The bunnies didn't make it. They were doing well on Friday morning, then she stopped caring for them. I couldn't get them to take the bottle & I couldn't convice her that they were her responsibility. She was still lactating, just not doing anything for them. I resusitated the speckled one a couple times on Sat morning. That one was the first to go, died in my hands Sat night. :*( I tried to bottle feed the other 2 & put them on a heating pad. But she took them off of it & I found them both dead on Sun morning. That's a horrible sight & one I hope none of you ever see. I know that it's not my fault & I did my best, I'm just so frustrated at the whole situation! I told the bunny owners to keep them apart, I'm done doing this. Richelle- I bet you don't want me to take care of you anymore! It doesn't seem to work!
Due to the whole d*** bunny thing, I did not get to go apply for the call center job on Thurs. I was going to play hooky on Mon & spend the day putting in apps at other places, but that plan was foiled by the weather.
The good~
I'm down a little over 4lbs from the beginning of last week! Yay me! DH is being really supportive, though he says he thinks I'm beautiful at any weight. Last night, he made a pasta bake w/o the pasta. It was actually really good! I think I'm going to find a ticker for my blog to keep up the motivation.
It snowed on Sunday! We got up to 6-7" in some areas here. The mountains got up to a foot! I did not go to work, or anywhere else, yesterday. So DH & I got a day to just be together. We watched a bunch of stupid movies & caught up on some housework.
Due to the snow, I ended up stuck with the adult bunny longer than planned. My cats are afraid of her. I wish I could've recorded her chasing them around the living rm. LOL!
Dot, Emily, & Christina- Keep an eye on your mail! I got the bracelets done over the wkend & will get them out either today or tomorrow. If anyone else wants one, just e-mail me.
Random ~
I have decided that I don't ever want a bunny! They are messy and destuctive. This particular one has a fondness for chewing electric cords & expensive shoes. Oh & I'm totally allergic!
I was having internet issues all weekend. Please don't think I don't love ya if I missed responding to a post! On that note- I REALLY dislike the new posting system on the boards. It's very difficult to catch up!
~
Ok, that's about it for now. Major Congrats to the recent bfps on the board! I hope we all get off it soon!
The bad~
The bunnies didn't make it. They were doing well on Friday morning, then she stopped caring for them. I couldn't get them to take the bottle & I couldn't convice her that they were her responsibility. She was still lactating, just not doing anything for them. I resusitated the speckled one a couple times on Sat morning. That one was the first to go, died in my hands Sat night. :*( I tried to bottle feed the other 2 & put them on a heating pad. But she took them off of it & I found them both dead on Sun morning. That's a horrible sight & one I hope none of you ever see. I know that it's not my fault & I did my best, I'm just so frustrated at the whole situation! I told the bunny owners to keep them apart, I'm done doing this. Richelle- I bet you don't want me to take care of you anymore! It doesn't seem to work!
Due to the whole d*** bunny thing, I did not get to go apply for the call center job on Thurs. I was going to play hooky on Mon & spend the day putting in apps at other places, but that plan was foiled by the weather.
The good~
I'm down a little over 4lbs from the beginning of last week! Yay me! DH is being really supportive, though he says he thinks I'm beautiful at any weight. Last night, he made a pasta bake w/o the pasta. It was actually really good! I think I'm going to find a ticker for my blog to keep up the motivation.
It snowed on Sunday! We got up to 6-7" in some areas here. The mountains got up to a foot! I did not go to work, or anywhere else, yesterday. So DH & I got a day to just be together. We watched a bunch of stupid movies & caught up on some housework.
Due to the snow, I ended up stuck with the adult bunny longer than planned. My cats are afraid of her. I wish I could've recorded her chasing them around the living rm. LOL!
Dot, Emily, & Christina- Keep an eye on your mail! I got the bracelets done over the wkend & will get them out either today or tomorrow. If anyone else wants one, just e-mail me.
Random ~
I have decided that I don't ever want a bunny! They are messy and destuctive. This particular one has a fondness for chewing electric cords & expensive shoes. Oh & I'm totally allergic!
I was having internet issues all weekend. Please don't think I don't love ya if I missed responding to a post! On that note- I REALLY dislike the new posting system on the boards. It's very difficult to catch up!
~
Ok, that's about it for now. Major Congrats to the recent bfps on the board! I hope we all get off it soon!
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