Why Bunnies?

Well, because, I don't learn!!! Lol!

I got them from the same person. The female bunny got pg about a day after I took the last ones. They can do that. This time, I took the mother bunny too. There really is not a suitable substitute for rabbit milk. The babies, 3 of them again, HATE the bottle, but when put on her, they root around & latch to a nipple.

So, this time, I'm more of a "lactation specialist". I've been pampering the mom bunny & trying to make her feel safe & secure. We also tried a warm compress last night. And for stimulation, we put the babies up to her so they could try nursing. We found more online info that said to try giving them a drop of honey to raise their blood sugar until mama's milk comes in, so we did that.

I put them all in the office so they can have privacy. When I checked on her before bed, she had thrown most of the rags (old towels) out of the nest & covered them with just one.
This morning, I looked in on them & they look so much better than the last batch did. They were squirming, but not crying. Their skin isn't wrinkly (meaning not dehydrated), & their little tummies look fat instead of sunk in.

My cats are completely confused! (i only have 2 of my 4 @ the apt. stupid "rules") My female, Skittles, wants NOTHING to do with the whole mess! She sniffed them all when they came in & has been walking aroung uttering fire & brimstone since. She's even been growling & hissing at ME, though she knows better! (she's not dangerous, just loud!) The other one, Buster, is curious but afraid of her! It was so funny! We let the mom bunny roam around the living rm last night & he would just jump back whenever she came near him! Even though he's at least twice her size! LOL! If he ever meets up with the wizzard, he needs courage AND brains!

I'll try to post pics soon! Oh & any suggestions for names? One's black, one's brown, & one's speckled. (oddly, same colors as the last ones, though they look totally different)

It's cold in here!

Brrr! My fingers & toes are so cold! According to MSN, it's 52* out, but it's cloudy, so it doesn't feel very warm! I know Christina will understand how that can be "cold"! Bad day to not bring my sweater.
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Also random, my throat has been sore. The kind where you just can't get it wet. I'm trying to pre-empt loosing my voice by hot liquids & Vit-C lozenges. Dh says he wouldn't mind if I loose my voice. Haha, everyone's a comedian!
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I may end up with bunnies by the end of the day. I know, I know, I just don't learn! My rule this time is that I'm taking the mom too. Everything I've read says that domestic bunny moms don't mind assistance (meaning they won't kill or abandon the babies if they've been handled by humans). Little sis will be helping again- If you're gonna do something crazy, it's best to have a buddy!
~
I get off at 3 today! Woohoo! I'm going down to the agency that's handling the hiring for a new Sa.ms.ung call center & applying. They said on the news that they'll be hiring a total of 300-400 people & they already have 80 done! So I gotta get moving!
~
New incentive for loosing weight- A trip to MT. Ok, so, you may know that J.W.'s have an annual convention in many large cities. Sometimes more than one wkend. Well, here, we go to Co.lum.bia, SC. In MT, there was either Bil.lin.gs MT, or Ken.ne.wick WA. Since DH had extended family in Bil.lin.gs, we often went there even though we were officially assigned to WA. OK, sorry if that's confusing.

ANYWAY, we haven't seen the extended family since we stopped & grama & grampa O's during move here. The chances of them coming out here is pretty slim. And grama & grampa K wanted to fly us back there for a visit anyway. So, instead of flying us into Mis.sou.la, they're going to fly us into Bil.lin.gs & drive there to meet us. Sounds fun & i'm excited about seeing the family.

Unfortunately, there will also be people there that I'm NOT very excited to see. We'll prob run into my aunt & uncle (the bitter, semi-crazy one). Also, there will be many who I knew when I lived in SD., possibly even my ex-fiancee (ugh!). And many of the people I knew in my teens have gone on to get married & have a bunch of kids (ex has one that i know of, maybe more). The thought of seeing those people gets my stomach in knots! All the inevitable "when are you having kids?" questions. I DO hope to see my piano teacher though! She has always been awesome to me & I totally love her, though I'm terrible at keeping in touch.

So, stupid as it may sound- I at least want to look good! The few people I saw in Mis.sou.la last yr when we visited said that I looked great & the South seems to agree with me. (i had only lost 20# by that time and the warmth & humidity is good for my skin) So, we're leaving in 12 wks & my goal is another 15-20 lbs. For a total is 35-40 lbs down since move. I'm already down 1.5 from this past Sun. Please, please, please help keep me going!!!

half-way through the week!

Nancy- I posted my answers over on yours! I didn't at first because I saw it on a day or two after it had been posted, wasn't sure if you were still checking.

Today's subject- Being taken advantage of when it comes to baby-sitting!
Ok, my general thoughts on watching other peoples' kids is that they should pay for it. These are their children, their flesh & blood, a life that they're putting into someone else's hands. It is important to pay for quality care! And though I started baby-sitting at 13, they were "older" children. NO WAY would I leave a child under 2 with a sitter under 17.

Exceptions- Are pretty much done on an individual basis. I've been known to refuse payment for special occations like an anniversary & I can't take money if there's some family emergency. HOWEVER- I think that should be up to the babysitter to decide, not the parent!

Family- I've never charged for watching my nieces. I wouldn't want money for it, I'm their aunt & I love spending time with them. If family is regularly watching your children though, you may want to treat it as more of a business arrangement. When I have children my plan is to find a PT job for ins & have either my mom or sis watch my kids. I don't think that either of them will allow me to pay them for it though. My solution to that would be gift certificates, or at least buying the food for my child to keep at their houses.

Times I've been majorly taken advantage of-

1. I had a mom "pre-pay" once. Sounds nice right? Except that the relative who was supposed to come was 2 hrs late & I didn't get anything else!

2. The 'friend' mentioned in yesterday's post- They both have good paying jobs, nice house, nice cars; paying for child care would not be a burden. So, there was one time (just the 3 boys then) that I watched the kids for 3 days in a row. This was when I had another job, so one of the days I was with the boys (2 in diapers!), then high-tailed it to my job at the motel. The other 2 were a waste of my coveted days off. Know what I got for that? A thank-you note that said "you are a good baby-sitter". I shook it 3 times, no cash or check.

3. This one involves the above 'friends' and another couple w/similar financial circumstances, but only 2 children. DH had gone to the football game with all the guys & the moms all got together to go shopping. The way that I got duped into watching all 5- I got a call - "hey, a bunch of us are getting together Sat to go shopping, are you free?" Me- "Yes!" Her- "Good, we were hoping that you could watch the kids". Well, by then it's too late to make up an excuse & I have difficulties saying no.

So, I spend all day with 5 kids. When the guys are done w/the game, DH tells me that we're going out to dinner with these couples. Cool, works for me. Except that the father of the 2 children was a boor & quite embarassing at the restaurant. Neither couple paid me, or bought dinner for us. And the one who was a boor was also quite sloshed & the driver, I was not sure that I was going ot make it home alive! (i vowed not to ever get in a vehicle that he was driving again!) I asked DH what the hell the whole dinner thing was about & why we went. He says "They were just gonna have you stay with the kids all evening! I spoke up & said that you may appreciate some adult conversation!" Then he proceeded to apologize for it. It was shortly after that that I found out my boss also went to games & had just lost her sitter to college. So, I started getting paid to watch her 2 very well behaved kids & was thankful to have an "out" on watching the other 5!

Your turn- What's your worst?

Cool Poll (Poss trigs!)

Ok, I stole this from Nancy's blog. She has a bazillion readers/commentors though, so I didn't get all the way to the bottom of the responses & I didn't post my response there. I'm only taking the IF portion of her poll. If you're dealing w/secondary IF, I'd still like to hear you chime in!

Those ttc +1 ...

1. Does being invited to baby showers bother you at all?
2. If yes, when did it start to bother you? (ie: how long in the ttc process?)
3. Do you think the girl who invited you should have done anything special to accommodate you?
4. Do you feel rsvp-ing w/ a "no" and sending a gift is an appropriate response for your own self preservation? Or do you think your own IF is no reason to not attend and you should just suck it up?
5. Have you ever had a bad experience in regards to a baby shower invite? (drama involved either being invited or even ~not~ being invited?, etc?)

For those dealing w/secondary IF- two additional questions-

1. Do you think there is added pressure on you to "just be happy" because you already have a baby?
2. Does the fact you are dealing with secondary(+) IF make baby showers harder or easier for you?

My answers----

1. Going to baby showers bothers me. The invites are just reminders that this isn't so hard for others. I'd rather get the invite & know that I was included than not be invited at all though.
2. Poss Trigs- Baby showers started to bother me after my second m/c in June 05. This was actually a few months before we started officially TTC, but it really hit hard. (to make things worse, the cat that i'd had since i was 16 died the wk after. it was a BAD month) A couple we know had their 4th that yr & that was the last shower I went to.
3. I don't think that anyone's baby shower should be about me. It's the mother's day, if I can handle being there, that's my choice, but I don't need special accomodations.
4. It's a perfectly acceptable response! In fact, if I can't deal with the baby section, I've been known to do gift cards, or even give cash as a "chip in" for something large. Call me selfish, but I don't feel like "sucking it up".
5. YES! My SIL had her second about the time I hit my 1yr mark. I was trying my best to still be excited for her & I really wanted to help with the shower. Well, one of her friends* decided to throw it & then chose a day that I couldn't come. (i had just started at dtv, there were 5 wks of "no time off for any reason") I was so pissed!

* A little rant about the friend I mentioned- TRIGS- This is the same friend who had 4 children in just as many yrs. She's one who I feel made it a point to rub it in that I'm not in the 'mommy club'. She & her husband had waited about 10yrs into their marriage to ttc & she had 2 m/c the yr before they had their first son. She knew about my second m/c & that we were ttc so you think she would've been sypathetic. NOPE! She had hers, so what else mattered. She was always willing to take advantage of me any time they needed the kids watched though! Notorious non-payers who thought they were doing you a favor by giving you "practice". I learned to stop taking her calls, gotta love caller ID!

IF Bracelets

Dot- I actually planned on making a few for my cyber IF sisters!

I feel like everyone who can has thought of a way to make money off our pain, so there's no way I could ever charge any of you for one.

Please e-mail me your snail mail addy & the approx size of your wrist. The little metal thing came on a chain of several, the other colors are gold, silver, copper, or bronze, if you have a preference. (the one is the pic is the copper) It would be an honor to send you the badge of courage you deserve!

To any who don't have my e-mail, it's my_teffieAThotmail(DOTcom)

I hate Mondays.

I want more weekend!!!

Little sis & I found a GREAT deal at Ho.bby Lo.bby- they had 1/2 off on a whole bunch of jewelry making things, so a couple of metal beads are now earings & we both found cool pendants & chains! I also got the stuff to do an IF bracelet! :^) It turned out pretty cool, if I'm allowed to say so. It didn't take long to make either, I just used a little hook & crochet'd it. Honestly, it took longer to attatch the bead closure! I need a better pic, but here's a slightly fuzzy one.

Cooking out at mom & dad's was fun. I just had a craving for a really good burger & it was! I figured out at Fu.dd.ruc.kers that I like nacho cheese, ketchup, & banana peppers on my burger, so got the stuff for that. So good & I didn't charge myself $9 for it! We also played a couple rounds of Pit (it's a card game, mimics the stock market, trade until you collect all of a commodety, bull is a wild card, avoid the bear), but called it kind of an early night at 8:30.

DH & I FINALLY bd'd Sat night. I won't go into detail, but "WOW!" and I needed that! It was so good we had an encore on Sunday!

Then there's the smack back into Mondays. Grrr! I feel tired & have a slight headache today. I really don't want to be here. What I want, only it sounds silly outloud (even to me), is a day off so I can go around & put in apps at other places. There're a couple of call centers here & a new one coming. I know that it's not much fun, but I want ins! I'm still working on getting a degree too, so I'd like to go in & talk to a local admission counselor. I think the shools here offer on-line classes & benefit- they help place you when you're done!

And a random rant for the day- Bathroom Ettiquette! I REALLY don't care how you keep your bathrm at home, but here are a couple reminders that I'd like to give to the installers around here. 1. The bathrm is for customers! You stroll in at whatever time you feel like getting here, so I don't think it would be so difficult for you to use your home bathrm. 2. If you use the last of the t.p- say something!!! 3. The spray is NOT meant to be used 1/2 can at a time! 4. If it's bad enough to spray, leave the fan on! 5. If you "miss", clean it up yourself! I am NOT your wife or mommy. My job description doesn't even include cleaning the bathrm, but I don't want the embarassment of a cust seeing that. 6. for crying out loud, pick up any papertowels that fall to the floor!!!

Ok, I'm done now. I hope y'all are having a good Monday! I think I may go to bed by 10 tonight!

Woohoo! Weekend!

TGIF!!! I only have one more hr before I get to the weekend. Tonight, DH & I are staying "in"- hold all calls, do not stop by! We'll put a tie on the front door to avoid any confusion! ;^)

Tomorrow- I don't know. There's a group going up to NC to go to Ikea. It sounds fun, but I really don't have extra money to be spending on that sort of thing. On the one hand, it would be fun girl bonding time. On the other hand, I HATE riding around in the car & feel like I could get more done if I stuck around home. Plus, my mom & little sis decided not to go. They're going to a funeral service for someone I've never met. So, silly as this may sound- there have recently been 2 births & all the women going are moms. I'm worried that the topic will turn to that & then onto their own pg, birth, & kid stories. W/O mom & sis, I don't have anyone on my side to steer the conversation back to more nuetral ground. Actually, I'd bet that doesn't sound as silly to y'all as it would to a bunch of fertiles.

Besides the above reasons, we want to grill at mom & dad's tomorrow & I don't know what time the group is planning to come back. I'm thinking I will have to check out Ikea another time.

I hope you all have a great weekend. A special message to Dot, Misty, & Christina to try to one "just for fun, just for you" thing this weekend. I know you're all going through different issues, but I hope it starts getting better for you soon! (((HUGS)))

One-sided fees

Ok, so Caitlin posted a responce to my mssg about bank fees that got me thinking about other one-sided fees. I was griping that banks can charge you overdraft fees, but don't give you anything if they mess up your account. She commented that extra cheese on a burger is more, but having them leave it off isn't less. Here are a few others-

• A dr's office will charge you for a "missed appointment", but you get no compensation for waiting in their office for 1 1/2 hrs.
• The IRS charges interest & penalties if you owe in, but you don't get anything on your refund!
• Airlines...No, don't get me going on airlines!

Ok, that's all I can currently think of, please add any that bug you!

A couple more things about us

I was thinking about this on the way to work this morning. It was brought on by the "when did you meet" question. Our parents met before either of us was born, but they didn't know it!

I mentioned that his family is from MT, well my family is from all over the place. My dad's older brother moved out to Bi.ll.ings as soon as he was old enough to leave home. He got married out there about a yr after my parents were married & they travelled out from Mi.chi.gan for the wedding. My in-laws happened to be at the same wedding! Both sets of our parents were married in 1975, my parents in May, DH's parents in Dec. My uncle & aunts wedding was late spring or early summer in 1976.

About the same aunt & uncle- She was never able to have children & was kinda bitter about it. I didn't actually meet them until I was almost 14 because she decided that she didn't want to know anything about the neices & nephews. I think she decided that after I was born, but they didn't even know that my little sis existed. I understand the pain, but no matter what, I DON'T want to be like that! I could not imagine not knowing my neices!

I have to revise any statements about singing in the shower. I don't really. There's usually a song in my head & sometimes I hum it, but if I actually sing, the cats come running in to find out what's wrong. Everyone's a critic! LOL! I don't take that personally because they only do it when I'm in the shower, they're confused as to why anyone would CHOOSE to get wet!

And one about DH- He was on the HS football team & the whole bunch of them (young idiots that they were) decided to BRAND themselves with the letter P for some Greek word. So, my DH has this huge nasty looking scar on his upper left arm that looks more like a D. Apparently, the whole thing got infected & he was seeing the school nurse on a daily basis for a while. She didn't tell his parents though because he was only a couple months away from being 18. They found out later that summer when everyone went swimming & a family friend yelled out "OMG! What did you do to your arm?!?!?!" Neither one of us has any tatoos.

About DH & me

I saw this on Rebekah's blog & thought it was cool! Feel free to do one on your blog!

• What are your middle names? Ann & Michael
• How long have you been together? Since Jan, 2000, so 9yrs already!
• How long did you know each other before you started dating? About 6-7 months. I had just moved to the area & we were in the same congregation.
• Who asked who out? Ummm, I think he asked me out. He asked me to come over for dinner at his house & then "formally' asked me if I'd like to date him. This was AFTER he had asked my dad's permission!
• How old were each of you when you met? I was 18, he was 21.
• How old are each of you now? I'm 28, he's 31.
• How long did you date before becoming engaged? He proposed 4/16/00, 3 months after we started dating. I know it seems short, but then the weding was another 13 months away, so that was freakin long!
• How tall are each of you? I'm 5' 8 1/2", he's 5'9". I'm taller than him when I wear heels!
• Whose siblings do you see the most? Currently, mine. His brother lives in Mo.nt.ana & his sis lives in Mis.so.uri. My sis' both live here.
• Do you have any children together? I've m/c twice. Our children would be 6 & 3 if they'd lived.
• What about pets? Yes! 4 cats- Skittles, Ping, Martini, & Buster
• Did you go to the same school? Nope.
• Are you from the same hometown? Not even close! He grew up in MT. I was born in WI, moved to S.Da.ko.ta when I was 12, then to MT at 18.
• Who is the smartest? Depends on the subject. We'd make a good Jeopardy team.
• Who is the most sensitive? Me. Though he's very kindhearted, just not much of a crier.
• Where do you eat out most as a couple? Umm, here & there, depends on the mood.
• Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? That's hard to say. We've been to both coasts, but not far from where we were living at the time. Not counting the move (5 days is waaay too long in a car!), our longest trip was prob flying back to see his fam last yr. From SC to MT.
• Who does the cooking? He does. Unless I'm really in the mood to, which I'm usually not.
• Who is more social? I am! He's friendly, but I'm the outgoing "social butterfly"!
• Who is the neat-freak? That would be me!
• Who hogs the bed? He does! And the blankets!
• Who wakes up earlier? We work different shifts. He's on nights, so gets home a little before I get up, then sleeps while I'm at work.
• Who has the bigger family? Probably him. Our immediate families are the same size, but 3 of my grandparents are dead & my extended family doesn't really keep in touch much. Plus, the neices are on his side.
• How do you spend the holidays? We don't celebrate holidays. So we usually just spend them hanging out, sometimes with the rest of whatever family we're near.
• Who is more jealous? Neither one of us really is. We're secure in what we have.
• Do you have little pet names for each other? Mostly just honey or dear. He calls me "chutney-butt" sometimes to bug me. (he heard it on Si.mp.so.ns, A.pu said it to his wife)
• How long did it take to get serious? We were friends for about 3-4 months before we dated.
• Who eats more? He does
• Who sings better? Not sure. I sing more, in the shower, car, etc. Everyone always told me what a great voice he had, but he won't sing solo for me. He keeps me in tune when singing at religious meetings. He is, though, an EXCELLENT public speaker &has a great reading voice!
• Who’s older? He is!
• Who does the dishes? He does, but the dishwasher we have in the apt is crap & I appreciate that he does it, but it bugs me that he won't pre-wash!
• Who snores? He does! LOUDLY!!!
• Who’s better with the computer? About equal.
• Who drives? He does most of the time. I co-pilot!
• Who kissed who first? I kissed him!
• Who eats more sweets? He does. Unless it's brownies, yum! Brownies!

Ok, I'd love to read it if anyone else wants to do it! : )

Not much going on

I'm on CD2, but not doing too bad. Not sure why, but not much pain this month. Totally won't complain about that! I have no thinking ability though! I can think full sentances in my head, but am having a hard time articulating them. LOL!

Has anyone ever been to I.kea? It's some huge, really awesome furniture store. There's a group of women going up to N.C this Sat to check out the new one. I've been invited, but not sure if I want to go. I have NO money to spend on furnishings right now, so not sure if it would be weird to be walking around with all of them. On the other hand, I'm included in the group!!!! Ahem, sorry. It might be fun to hang out & do lunch & stuff. It's a group of about 7-8 & I really like all of them. Whadya think? If I go, I hate to sound whiney, but I have to sit up front or drive cause I get car sick. (i have since i was a kid, dramamine knocks me out)

Oh & did I mention that af blessed me with a blemish this cycle? GRRRR! I've always had such clear skin & even one zit just bugs me! >=^/

Monday & CD1

Dangit! I HATE af!!! So far, I've only got moderate cramping. Definitely there, but not unbearable. I decided that I'm not taking NSAIDS anymore, so I bought extra-strength Ty.len.ol over the wkend. Then I forgot it so it's at home. : ( ...I broke down & took an Exc.ed.rine, it's Ty.len.ol, aspirin, & caffiene. Still feeling pain! The other thing I hate about af are the cravings! I'm usually pretty good about not doing a lot of snacking, but af brings out the munchies big time!

The rest of this post may be a bit triggery for my TTC friends.

I got to hold a little 5wk old baby yesterday. He was so sweet! His mom had him about 2wks early via c-section (not sure of the reason) & he is still so small! I think still under 8lbs.

I held another friend's grandson for a bit too. He's about 18 months old & I just love him! It's really irritating because his parents are unwed, & barely out of their teens. And they had another one last summer, 13 months apart! I've wanted them both since they were born.

It amazes me though, how I can look at these sweet children who look nothing like me & think "yeah, I could raise you & love you as my own." I guess I'm REALLY lucky that DH is on board with that too. My DH is one who could be fine with or without kids. I was very upfront & clear about my desire for children early on in our relationship. He's never been around them as much as I have, but is happy about the thought of being a father someday. With every year of TTC that passes, the thought occurs to me that I may not be able to experience a child growing in my womb & giving birth. Though this saddens me, I'm still determined that I will be a mom. I've always thought that I'd like to foster or adopt even if I had my own.

DH is not crazy about the idea of fostering. He thinks it would be really difficult to get attatched to a child that wouldn't be "permanent". I see it differently, but it's not worth argueing. He is fine with the idea of adoption. I've asked him some very specific questions about it & am confident that he would veiw an adopted child as his son or daughter. (i found the questions on a few different adoption websites) He is fantastic with our neices, so I know he'll be a great dad after a little training on diapers, feedings, & burpings!

Sigh....It'll happen. One way or the other it will happen!

Goin Nuts!

Seriously, I need to leave here & be at the hosp w/my mom! I really do know that there's nothing I can do to help, but I need to be there!

Drama people tend to really bug me. We get them from time to time on the board. I don't get why the concept is so difficult for some! Of course we all have our own ideas & opinions, we're not clones. But, it's a PUBLIC forum & you have to keep other people's feelings in mind. The "regulars" all do a good job of that when we don't attack each others' treatment options, even if it's not what we would do ourselves. We also don't try to spout crap about any "cure-all". I know for me, personally, if something upsets me I acknowledge that I may be hormonal & simply leave it alone. (not to say that all posts that i don't comment to have upset me) Truthfully, it does bug me when new ones come on & annouces a bfp w/o giving any history or indication that they should even be on the board. And if you leave your e-mail address, well you might not like all the e-mails you get! To bring it back to the board & try to 'call out' someone who e-mailed anonymously is just stupid. BTW- it wasn't me who e-mailed her, but I agree with what was said. Really, with the deal w/dad, I had no time to touch a computer last night.

Then it bugs me because people think of us as bitter or snippy & we're not! We've just been through a lot more with this than many others & we tend to be protective of each other! If others end up in the place we are, maybe they'll understand then!

I like a good piece of gossip as much as anyone, but I really think that the back-biting nastiness should be left in high school! Any other opinions? If you made up a "rule book" for our board, what would it include?

Ahhh, Sleep!

I slept last night! I know, millions of people do that all the time. If you've ever gone a couple nights w/o much though, you understand how exciting that is. Thank you for the kind comments on my crabby post.

So I'm feeling better today. Still not super, but better. I ran out of coffee though, so I'm stuck drinking Bu.rge.rKi.ng coffee. Still better than the Dun.ki.nD.on.uts, but def NOT Sta.rbu.cks!

Anyway, I'm going to make a few phone calls tonight to the schools. I'm also going to get some directions so I can apply in person for the new call center that's coming. I'll go tom afternoon since I get off @ 3 on Thurs. (i love thurs!)

I don't have much hope for this C. FF isn't showing O, even though I thought it was last Thurs or Fri. I'm on CD30 at any rate, so if it didn't happen, it's not gonna. I guess I'll just wait for af to show & buy a saliva scope for the next C.

Stupid blogging question(s)- There are a couple things I'd like to show on my blog, a list of the blogs I follow, a couple of website links (my chart for sure), & the IF common thread sticker. How do I do that???

I hope all y'all are having a great day! : )

"You look stressed"

I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate that phrase! Same with "you look tired". I know that people who say are being truthful & it shows concern, but ya may as well say "Egads! You look like crap!" So, lately, when it's said to me, I've been responding with "I am". Because that's also the truth.

I'm on my second night in a row of not sleeping well (horrible nightmares last night, noise sunday night), so I'm kinda cranky today. Most people who see me would not know this because I put forth a huge effort to be my usual chipper self.

I'm going to indulge myself in a slight pity-party though because I am tired & I am stressed & I am feeling very... stuck.

*I'm at a job that I hate but, other than online applications, I don't have time to search for anything else. I am so bored here that it's not even funny, yet any idea I come up with to do something to bring in people is shot down. I feel like a theif for getting a paycheck.

*The jobs I want take a little more scooling than what I have. So I want to get an on-line degree. I filled out the fa.f.sa thing, got a score, found my transcripts, researched schools, narrowed it down to a couple, sent the fa.f.sa info to them, asked how to send my transcripts. Sounds good right? Except that now I'm not hearing back from the schools anymore. I've e-mailed to ask for the next step, but...nothing! No response. What gives???

*Whatever job I get HAS to provide health ins. (and make about what I'm making now, can't really afford to loose much) Even then, I'm not sure that any IF will be covered. I think I can get my thyroid tested either way. And possibly get on Met either way, but what if that doesn't fix it? Can I afford an RE on my own? (no)

*Then I get to worrying about if I'll even be a good parent. If getting pg costs so much, how expensive is it to have & raise a child? Am I going to be able to afford that? Am I going to just be stressed out all the time? Or is it true that all the budget priorities change when the child comes?

*Also, I hate the way I look. I should post a pic on my profile, but I've gotten so fat that I just hate all the pics of me! True, I busted my butt & lost 20#, but there's a lot more to go & they don't seem to budge! How fair is that? (please do not respond to that unless you know what it's like to be at least 50 lbs overweight)

I used to joke around that I am a jinx, but I really think I might be. I just think about so many things in life & how they never seem to work out for me! Other people can do the same things & their lives are just peachy, & it all 'falls into place' but not me.

Ok, I'll shut up now. I don't really feel any better. Still just tired. I may take a swig of N.yq.uil tonight just so I can get a solid night of sleep! Thanks for listening if you read this far. I'll regroup, brush off, & think of a new strategy within a couple days.

ENOUGH!!!

Ok, I have heard enough about the woman who had the oc.tup.lets!!! Seriously, it's on EVERY news media!

It was so irresponsible all the way around- her, the drs, her parents, the media who keep shoving it in our faces. And now they've got pics of the babies on my em.es.en. home-page. I see darling preemies who should be given to good homes! I DON'T think she's going to care for them (or her other children) as any of them deserve! They should probably all be taken away.

The problem is that no one is comfortable with the idea of someone else dictating familiy size, but really, how bad would that be? The majority of families have an average of 2, 3 is not uncommon, 4 seems large, but still doable. After that? I don't understand how the children get what they need & I don't just mean money! So, what do you think about families with enough children for a sports team? What's your first reaction when someone says they have 12 kids? Leaving jealousy out of it, my reaction is still "Yikes!". One of the first things that comes to mind is "how do you go anywhere?" Really, what do they drive? A small bus?

The oc.tup.let mother says she holds each baby for 45mins/day so there's 6 hrs out of the day. How much time do the other children get? Does each child have a timer & an appointment to see their mom? If I did the math right, that's 14 children x 45 mins= 10.5 hrs/day & she only sees each child once in that time??? That's not quality parenting!!! There's no way she can actually get to "know" them individually!

I also wonder how those women feel being pg yr after yr (the ones who are married). Is that all their husbands want of them? To be a baby factory? I have more worth than the ability to reproduce!!! If I'm never able to have children, I will still be a worthwhile person with a DH who loves me! True, this woman did it to herself, but filling a void is not a reason to have a baby (or 14). She really should have been treated for whatever form of depression she has!

Like I said, the whole thing just leaves so many loose ends. I'll stop there because it just gets me so worked up. I just want everyone to stop reporting on it & to get it out of our faces!!!

Monday already?

Wow this weekend flew by! I did not end up working a home show, but got a lot more involved with the wedding than I had planned! My friend, E, called me last wk to ask if I would help decorate & serve food at her aunt's wedding. Why not? Sounded fun!

I got a text from her Fri night saying that she was ready to scream due to all the people at the house & trying to get floral arrangements done. She'd been given a very low budget for them & they just weren't pulling together. So I showed up with Sta.rbu.cks & ended up staying until 12:30 helping her put them together. (by the way, regular tree branches spray-painted gold are SOO pretty!)

She was also telling me that the people who were supposed to get the tablecloths to her earlier in the wk had JUST dropped them off. This meant that she needed to iron 25 tablecloths the next day. Mom & I went there on Sat to help with that. It took all 3 of us about 3 1/2 hrs to get all the ironing done (there were runners too).

Yesterday we went to the place to decorate at 3:30. Whoever was in charge of the food basically just dropped it off without any worries of how to heat it or keep it warm. The building had bread proofers & that helped, but not great. There were a few other friends there & we all had a great time chatting as we set the place up, it turned out beautifully BTW! Mom & I finally left at 8, after all the dinner plates had gone out.

Just a couple "OMG! I can't believe she did that"- 1. The woman who brought the cake was sitting in her car SMOKING when we got there!!! With the cake catching all that smoke! 2. There was a woman who showed up kinda last minute (after we'd been there all day doing everything!) and just took over the kitchen & started bossing everyone around! 3. There apparently was a "director" who was one of the main people dumping everything off on E. Nice "directing"!

Good points- My DH is a total gem! He barely saw me all wkend & didn't complain! E's DH brought a flask of clear rum, so my punch was "punched"! LOL! Maybe why I didn't hurt the psycho kitchen overlord!

Hope y'all have a good day! :)

Funny e-mail!

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

TGIF!

Morning! : ) Sorry, I am one of those irritating people who, for the most part, wakes up in a good mood. Than I add coffee so I can think straight!

Anyway, it's Friday & that means I don't have to work tomorrow! Unless I do, my boss mentioned something about a home show, but I don't know yet. He's one of those people who does just about everything by the seat of his pants. At least he has good employees though!

I am supposed to help at a wedding on Sunday. Funny thing, I don't even know the couple! My good friend E called me the other day, told me that one of her relatives is getting married, & do I want to help decorate & serve food? Sure! Why not, sounds fun! I really am one of those people who's usually up for just about anything. As long as it's not stupid, illegal, or dangerous. This is also how I end up with extra animals. And why I'm sooo thankful for caller id so I can avoid the people who've taken advantage in the past.

Oh! Speaking of work, there was a news story last night about a big company bringing about 300 jobs to this area! They're looking for people w/customer service experience! THAT'S ME!!!! I got the info so I can go apply for it. I think this would mean ins! I told DH that I still want to get an AS though.

Ok, I'll quit before this is a book! I may try one more post today to see if I can post a cool e-mail I got. Hope y'all have a great day! : )

BTW- I figured out how to change the time zone to Eastern! (insert applause) It was easy once I went looking for it.

Tap, tap, is this thing on?

Alrighty! I think I'm about ready to launch this & give the address out. I'm told by Dot that posting comments isn't working, I thought maybe a new post would have the settings that I've updated. Please try posting to this.

I hope it works!

Join the club

Well, it turns out that I am a lemming! I am starting a blog for the very simple reason of "everyone else has one!" I thought it was a pretty good reason.

I'm totally new at this & still trying to figure out how to make it 'cute'. There may be a few changes until I get it right.

I'm sure I'll have more to comment later, but for now was just tired of seeing a blank page!