My race for the cure page

Sorry, I had to delete the last post. Somehow, it got an ad attatched to it & I'm VERY against advertisements being on my blog. (except my own plugs) Anyhow, clicking on the pink ribbon will take you to my page. If anyone wants to make a donation, it would be cool. :)

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Do you ever have so much in your mind that you think it will sound like that if you open your mouth? It's kinda like that. So, things I've been meaning to share with y'all--

* I've been working too much OT. I'm tired & people are stupid. And mean! Be NICE to the person on the phone who is trying to do their job. Especially if you called them. And please, for the love of sanity, someone teach the teenagers how the leasing process works!!!

* Fun at work- I've signed up for a 5k (that's just over 3 miles) walk/run for the Sus.an G. Ko.lma.n Br.eas.t C.anc.er foundation. It's Sept 26, & I'm really looking forward to it. I support just about anything for cancer. It's taken away people that I love & I feel the need to fight back!

* I forget that not everyone speaks "ttc". So, we had friends over to mom & dad's on Sunday night & they have adorable kids.(these are the people whos son I was holding last Sunday) Well, the conversation of reality tv came up, which led to a few "popular" life-with-multiples shows. I gave my opinions about the irresponsibility of the people involved. Mostly that I would really like to know if they went against dr's orders of a cxld C. Not too difficult, right? Except that they were looking at me like I'd just redefined "MC=M2". Sigh.

* Totally funny story from Sunday night- Their 2yr old kept trying to follow my parent's cat into their room. Not really a big deal. Mom was just saying that she gets a little nervous because of the meds in her room (she has fibro & some pretty strong stuff). She worries that a child will somehow get into them & that would be bad. So my older sister (mentally handicapped) pulls a bottle of St. John's Wort out of her pocket & says (completely sincere & if all seriousness) "you can't OD on these, can you?" Mom & I both go "no", pretty much in unison. Well Byron is trying to stiffle a laugh & it just wasn't working for him. He almost choked himself trying not to laugh. His reaction got mom & I doing about the same thing. So our phrase now is "no matter how bad the day gets, don't OD on St. John's Wort!" Advice to live by there!

* I can't figure out WTH my cycle is doing. I tested on Sunday & it was BFN. I keep feeling like my period is starting, but nothing. There's been spotting, but no flow. I've been kinda gassy, but no real cramps. I haven't gained my 3 period pounds. I'm tired, but I think that's due to poor bedtime choices. My chart was almost tri-phasic maybe, but then crashed today, but not below the CL. TMITMITMITMITMI- the spotting that I had today was more like red tissue, it was not CM of any kind, but actually kinda tough. So, I checked & my CP is high-ish & firm. Oh & the spotting really seems to happen after BD or a BM. So, I'm not BDing until I'm sure AF is here & I've been eating more fiber. I plan on testing again in the morning, but I don't think it'll be positive.

* Nicole & Caitlin- be on the lookout for mail! I also finished something I was making for my older sister (a set of Disney princess cross-stitches), so it was a pretty productive w/e.

* I think I finally won the budget arguement w/DH. It's actually a very tiresome one, because I'm a saver/planner & he's the spender. The fact that his parents never taught him to budget or balance a checkbook drives me up the wall! So the agreement now is that I'M DOING IT!!! The budget, paying the bills, & balancing the checkbook. I will give him spending money every week, we will do the grocery shopping once/wk together, he will not use the debit card without my approval, & bills will finally get paid on time, in full. This will save us a lot of money in the long run on late fees, higher interest, etc. Please pray that he sticks to it.

* Ummmmm, ok I think that's it. Nope, one more- does anyone else watch H.el.l's Ki.tch.en? I don't get what they were thinking bringing Ro.b.ert back? I mean, he wasn't any healthier & he wasn't that good to begin with! I thought it was a good show about finding true chef talent, but I think they're going more for ratings this season. That's sad... :o(

* Ok, NOW that's it! I'm going to bed. TTY Ladies soon! (((HUGS)))

I'll leave you with a pic. The couch went all evil the other other day & ate Ping! He slid a little further after I took this pic, which was enough to wake him up. He looked at the couch like "hey now! what's that all about?", then moved to another spot.

Made by me giveaway

Ok, this looks like too much fun! Who else??? :)

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me, especially for you. I can be quite the craftly gal so I will make it worth your while.This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make but I hope you will.

2- What I create will be just for you.

3-They say I have a year to get it to you. But I promise it will NOT take that long.

4- You have no clue what it's going to be. It’s a surprise to both of us at this point.The catch? You must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog.

So the first five people who post, and are willing to pass it along,will get a handmade gift in the mail from me. When you get it, make sure you post a pic on your blog! Let's have some fun!

I shoulda had the oatmeal

I totally didn't feel like cooking tonight. I debated options from the cupboards, fridge, & freezer & finally decided that I wanted Chinese food. Something spicy & full of flavor. Out of 23 Chinese places in town, ONE delivers. How bad can it be, right? YUCK! Ok, to be fair, there was nothing WRONG with the food, but it was BLAND! Where's my spice, where's the flavor? Why do I still feel my tongue? Sigh, next time I'll just drive to my favorite place & get what I like. Or fix oatmeal (i like the old-fashiod kind w/cinnimon, agave, nuts, & dried fruit stirred in).

Anyways, in other news, I am totally chart obsessing this month & I can't figure out why. It's not an overly interesting chart, I don't have much reason to believe that it will be "the" chart, yet I find myself staring at the dumb thing. Oh & I had ANOTHER pregnancy dream Sunday night. A good one, we were debating when to tell friends.

Sorry, my dears. I'm kinda boring tonight. I watched Bridezillas via OnDemand- HOW do these women get married??? I don't get it! I would NOT take part in any kind of wedding like that & if I had a guy friend who was engaged to one, I'd tell him to run! Also on tv- has anyone seen the previews for the upcoming Fox "special"? Oh, GAG me! If I roll my eyes any more over that, they'll stick that way.

For a cool link, my dad works for this flooring company that has the coolest carpet. It's stain resistant, durable, & soft. I've had it in my home & have seen what it can do. Well, check out the ultimate test of it, a rhinocerous! It's pretty cool. So far, the only thing that I've found that can stain it is permanent marker. I even got nail polish out of it. Sorry, shameless plug, but really worth looking into if you're in the market for carpet.

~Steph :)

I have not been well

Hi. I actually typed a whole post Thursday night when I was feeling the worst, then my dang server crashed & lost most of it. >:^/

I'm doing beter now, but I had a BAD week! The stupid accident brought on more stress than I anticipated. I got the canker sores back in my throat on Monday. (btw, the pharm advised gargling with a mix benadryl & maalox to calm them) My skin broke out in all the "usual" spots too, I hate it. I also had a few nights of very little sleep. The accident was enough to bring back nightmares of the semi. I was waking up panicking in a sweat 6-8 times a night.

It wouldn't have been so bad in it's self, but I've been dealing with unusual stress for a couple months now & it was a little more than I could handle.

The worst day was Thursday. I was so upset that I hadn't 'done' anything all week. I felt like I was just sleeping & working. So I decided to load the dishwasher & accidently sliced my thumb open on a knife, under the cuticle & out! It was a great sight- I'm standing in the kitchen with my thumb dripping in the sink, bawling like a 3 yr old. Not good. I was still awake when DH got home from work at 2am, so I ended up pouring out everything to him & he held me until I fell asleep.

I actually slept Thurs night & woke up feeling better on Friday. We had plans to do fun stuff on Fri, so I made myself get out of bed & get going with the day. It was fun & I'm glad I did. I spent the morning with my mom, my good friend E, & her way too cute 3yr old son. Mom, DH, & I spent the afternoon together. Not much, just lunch & some (grocery) shopping. But it was shopping at Whole Foods, which I love, & DH got aged beef steaks & made us steak au pave (how do you do an accent thingy when typing?). Oh, & we got dairy free honeydew melon gellato. Yummy!

Last night we went up to NC for an all day religious assembly today. It was nice. You may have gathered from my previous posts that I LOVE these days. I always feel so encouraged, loved, & calm after them. (NEXT PART, POSS TRIGS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP IF YOU NEED TO!) During the lunch hour, I ran into some friends of mine & got to hold their baby (almost 4 months old) for a while. He's so sweet, he was sleeping when I first took him. When he woke up, he looked at my chest, made a sucking motion a couple times, then looked up at my face like "well, how 'bout it?" It was sooo funny! I told him "sorry kid, they're empty. I got nothing for you". They're coming over for dinner Sat night (to mom & dad's, our place is way to dang small). They also have the cutest 2 1/2 yr old daughter, but she doesn't 'know' me well enough to come to me.

So, bottom line- I weathered the storm & it's mostly passed. I'm making it a goal to do 10 minutes of exercise each day this week before going to work. And to spend 15 mins/day cleaning something when I get home from work. I've been really bad about staying up too late & then not wanting to get up in the morning. But I know I need to get myself on a productive schedule to keep myself sane.

I know we've all been down lately. There's been a lot of bad news & hard decisions for many lately. So I'm sending out (((((HUGE HUGS))))) to you all. Thanks so much for always been the wonderful, beautiful, & supportive 'yous' that you are!

Better...

So I went for a massage today & it was great! I have GOT to do that more often! I feel soo much better. And my skin is all soft now, she doesn't use oil, she uses a cream (unscented, so it didn' make me sick!).

So, as much as I'd love to do a nice long blog about anything, I'm going to do my nails, enjoy a cup of tea, watch Raising the Bar, & go to bed! Love you all!

An award---

Thanks Tori for the award!



The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are:

1- Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.

2- Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered (or any applicable number).

3- Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Ok, I don't have 15, but here are 3 cool new blogs I've recently found---

Morgan
Robin
Rain

Ok, that hurt

So, I was on my way to the meeting at the Kingdom Hall today (religious services) & ended up in a car accident!

I'm ok, but achy from tensing up & I'm sure I'm gonna be hurting in the morning! I rear-ended a guy in a pickup, but it wasn't my fault. I turned off of one road & onto another, the road I turned onto has a blind corner/hill. Well there were a couple cars at a complete stop in the right lane & I moved to the left lane to avoid hitting them. (in the South, it is not uncommon for people to come to a complete stop in the road before making a right turn, so i thought that's what they were doing.

About the time, the guy in the truck slammed on his brakes. I did the same, but it wasn't enough to keep from hitting him. I wasn't going more than 35 when it started, so probably hit him at 10-15. I'm just glad that the guy behind me didn't hit me. We both were ok & neither vehicle was too badly hurt, so we decided not to report it. He left & I called my parents. Idiotic SC law- if you rear-end someone, you get a ticket. No matter the circumstances, the last person in a rear-end collision gets the ticket.

So- why did the guy slam on his brakes? Because at the BOTTOM of the blind curve/hill, there was a REAL wreck that everyone was trying to avoid. IDK exactly what happened, but there was a car on it's side & another missing most of the front end. There were already 2 firetrucks & an ambulance there. There were more emergency vehicles that came while I was waiting for my parents (they were closer than DH). So, all in all, I'm glad I wasn't part of THAT wreck. I'm also pissed at the ass-backwards way they do everthing down here- there REALLY should've been someone directing traffic closer to where the turn is. I'm pissed that I'm in too much pain to BD this afternoon, I have full ferning AND ewcm! And I'm upset that there is now body damage to my car! (after the semi, now this, the poor car is going to run screaming any time i go near it!)

Here's the boo-boo on my car, anybody have a huge bandaid? The vertical "line" in the bottom pic (to the bottom & right of the chevy emblem) is a crack! >:^/

Sweet Dreams (poss trigs)

So last night I had a great dream. I dreamt that I got a BFP. It was so real, so clear. And I had a momentary thought that I could m/c, but it was there. In the dream, I was so excited that I started crying. There was some woman there who asked if I was ok, I looked at her with tears in my eyes & said "you don't understand, we've been trying for nearly 4yrs. This is the happiest moment of my life". I told DH & my parents, there were happy tears all around. And about that time, I was shocked back to reality by my alarm clock. :(

So that got me daydreaming today about some of the things I want if I ever do get pg. Chime in w/some of yours if you want. Disclaimer- I reserve the right to change my mind on these if I ever do get pg!

* I don't want to know the sex. I always dreamed of a surprise pg & that just won't happen. There are very few (good) true surprises in life & I think I'd like that to be one. Though I will still get u/s!

* Other than very close friends & family, I'm not really going to "anounce" the pg. Of course, I'll tell all of you, DH, & my parents right away. Probably the in-laws at about 8 wks. A few close friends after the first tri. But, I'll just wait until I start showing before letting others know. IF has taught methat people say stupid things & I just don't want all the pg advice for that long.

* I want to keep a pg journal/scrapbook to give to the baby when they grow up.

* I don't want an epidural. Unless the baby is going to be huge, or there are other complications, I want to try to do natural labor. In a hosp, of course; I'm not crazy.

* (i hope this one doesn't sound selfish, i tried to get the idea to catch on for other friends!) I think that baby showers should be thrown in 2 parts- The first should be at about 7 months. It should be a girls only, "pamper the new mom" party. The second should be 4-6 wks after the baby is born. It should be men & women, a "welcome to the world" party.

* Oh, and I want to use either cloth, or bio-degradable diapers. Do you that the #2 filler of landfills is diapers? Ewwww!

All right! Back to reality now. Thanks for listening if you got through this. (((HUGS)))

Waiting...(and an award)

There seems to be a general feeling going around several of my TTC friends, so I hope none of you think that I'm reading your thoughts!

I'm beginning to get very tired of waiting. I've always considered myself to be a very patient person, but I've begun to feel like I'm passing one year after another waiting for my "real life" to begin. I guess I'm stuck in the stage of "I can't really be as old as I am because I'm not a parent yet". There are times where I have to remind myself that simply having a child doesn't make you an adult. It's weird.

I hate how IF has made me redefine nearly everything in life. I'm a "plan of action" person & this wasn't the plan. The plan was to enjoy married life & stabolize our relationship. Then, start having children at 25, be done having them by 30. Be young. fun parents, but mature enough to stick to our parenting plan. By the time they'd be moving out on their own, we'd still be young enough to do things & have fun. Hmmm, now I'm thinking that if we have our first by 30, we'll be doing good.

Waiting.... Waiting to find the right job that had ins, now waiting another 4 1/2 months to get the ins, then waiting for a diagnosis, then waiting for a treatment, then waiting to see if it'll work, waiting to see if any pg will finally be a sticky one. If that doesn't work, then how much waiting for the next plan? Why is it that the closer I get to the goals in my life, the further away they get pushed?

Ok, I'll quit with the pity party. I've just been feeling really apprehensive about finally getting to start treatment. What if it's not an easy fix? I swear, not knowing what's ahead freaks me out.

~~~~
In good news, I've reset my weight loss ticker. I reached the last goal & have a new one now. So, since March I've lost 20lbs & that's a total of 40 since moving here. There's still more to go, but finally less than 100! Ugh, I may not ever see my size 10 again, but I'd settle for a 12 or maybe 14.

~~~
An award-
Sherry nominated me for a Inspiration award. Thank you! You are one of my biggest inspirations through this journey! I'd really like to nominate every one of you ladies! Going through this is not easy & each of you inspires me in some way to keep going. I agree & second EVERY nomination that has happened so far! I was looking for a few who I don't think have gotten it yet---
Coco - because she's the only one going through this in her family, & is very honest about her up & down days,
Margriet - ( she's been nominated, but her job requires her to share in the big moment of other women. that's got to be hard!) ,
Allison - your sense of humor & great writing style keep me going on my bad days!
Jayme -because she's been through a lot already & is still going despite the heartache.
and my Mom - thank you so much for the time you spend reading up on all of this & for being such a great IRL support!