Time to say goodbye...

...To turning tables.

Does anyone else totally love that song? The sad part is how well it describes my life right now. As hopeful as I was for a turning place in my marriage, for a chance at a trusting relationship...it didn't happen. What did happen was he kept lying to me. Only this time I was wise to it & kept calling him out on it. The final straw was when he couldn't even be straight with me about scheduling an appt with a marriage therapist. So I stated that I can't put up with this crap for the rest of my life. He stated that I'm just too demanding & want too much out of life that he can't provide. He also said that I "set him up for failure, so it's not worth the effort to try". So that's that.

He took off for MT on the first flight he could get out. My parents made me a really awesome offer of staying with them, so I don't have to be in the house alone. I'm so pissed about the house. I just spent 1.5 yrs working on the remodel! It's so close to being done & I'm not going to get to enjoy my work. I also got stuck with cleaning out all our stuff. For the record, I did not kick him out. He could've stayed an extra wk or whatever to pack up his stuff. I've found some ~really~ fun paperwork...including the 2009 taxes that were sent back to us because he never signed them. I'm hoping I'll be able to even fix the taxes stuff w/o getting a lawyer involved. (lesson to self- no matter where life takes me, i will from here out file my own taxes seperately!). I've nearly got all the other stuff packed up. A lot of crap went to Go.od.wi.ll. The rest is either being stored, or moving to my parents' house w/me.

I'll be seeing Dr D next Thurs. It was the soonest I could get in. I'll be having her help me so I can ever trust anyone again. And making sure that I'm strong enough in myself to never fall for this crap again. Everyone at work has already been awesome. I've felt a little scatter-brained lately (just having to deal w/everything), so I asked my boss last week to let me know if my work was suffering at all. He said "Are you kidding me? You're strong as an ox! I don't know how you're doing this." So that's good.

As far as what I'll be doing from here, there are a few ideas. I've started to figure out the cost of what a condo around here would be. I think it's doable if I can save up a down payment. Also, I still don't plan on staying childless. I think single women can adopt & once I get my finances in order, I'll go ahead with that. I'll prob be at mom & dad's for at least a yr though.

In other news, I'm sorry to say that we lost my baby girl, Skittles, back in March. She was only 11. The vet said it was a blood clot that travelled to her lungs. It was quick & there was nothing I could've done. (i cried for 5 days straight) She'd buried in the back yard at the house & as hard as it is for me to leave her there, it's a beautiful spot, she would've loved it. The boys were a little "lost" for a couple wks w/o her being in charge, but they seem to be doing ok now.

Also- TRIGS- I'm going to be an aunt. My little sis is due in Oct. So far, she's having a totally miserable pg. She has hyper-emesis & is still throwing up every time she eats. She's lost 23lbs with this! But we're finding out the sex on Tues. I'll prob post that on FB, just a heads up. (speaking of FB, if you know me on there, check out the number i did on my hand, yeeesh!)

And, wonders never cease, remember the girl @ work who I was complaining about a few posts back? I'm actually babysitting for her tomorrow. I guess we all sometimes find ourselves in situations that we didn't really plan for & a little compassion can go a long way. And, prob even more shocking, she didn't ask, I volunteered.

Anyway, this is a blog, not the next great American novel, so I'll end here. I'm gonna do my best to keep in touch better. :)